Author Topic: Hey...I'm Abrom  (Read 10337 times)

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Abrom

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Hey...I'm Abrom
« on: November 18, 2015, 11:26:39 AM »
I really had no interest of doing this at first, since I figured I'd get sick of the people on these forums just like any other, but after a year and 280 posts later...it's about time.
My name's Eric Jousma, I'm a 28 year old male, my birthday's April 19th, and I live in the woods of Bruce Crossing, which is a small town located in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, U.S.A. My hobbies have continually narrowed to the point of listening to a specific taste in heavy metal, and playing some video games (mostly on the PC). I'll try out only a few games a year, and usually there's only one or two that'll stick with me. I USUALLY go for a co-op game that gives a new experience, good action, and lots of replayibility, so I can play it with a brother again and again.
I've lived in my home for as long as I can remember. I dropped out of high school at the beginning of 11th grade and got a GED. I have three brothers (and one half-brother), who have all moved on to do their own things. My father passed away from lung cancer on 9-11-2011, so it's just me and my mother here. I've worked full time jobs for only three years in my adult life, because I got sick of doing all the work with no say. After that, I tried to do odd jobs for dirt cheap. There's a lot of elderly in my area, so I figured I'd help out, and I hoped the satisfaction of that would be enough. Well...that satisfaction didn't last, but people's need of me did. Back pain, a bad knee, and constant headaches caused me to take over 20,000 200mg Ibuprofen in the last 6-7 years. My stomach was having a hard time handling it, and depression had sapped my energy away to almost nothing. So, I decided it was time to cut ties with people, get my health coverage taken care, and see a doctor...which I did. The doctor gave me anti-depressants and recommended me to a chiropractor for the pain, and a therapist to help cope with the depression.
The chiropractor was surprised at how young I was to have such pain, but the x-rays taken proved that I wasn't lying. My knee kept coming out of place as a kid, and where it ended it up wasn't good. The bottom half of my leg was pushed back and twisted, which was causing stress on my ligaments and continually weakening them. Since I've been seeing the chiropractor on a regular basis, my knee seems to be back in place and getting better, but as far as my back goes, he even said himself that it would be an up-and-down struggle. He deciphered that the problems with my back actually started from my hips, and whatever caused them to tilt must have happened over 10 years ago. I remember taking a hard fall off some bus steps in elementary school, so that must have been it. Anyway, because of my slanted hips, this put a lot of pressure on the lowest disc in my spine. Although the disc is in bad shape, it should still recover once I'm fixed up. But, that wasn't the only problem from my slanted hips; they also caused my spine to have a bit of S-shaped scoliosis (curving). The bottom part of my spine was bending to try and line up with my hips, while the upper part was bending the opposite direction to keep my head level. This scoliosis, along with hard physical work, also caused a few vertebrae to twist out of place in the lower portion. As for the curvature in my neck, it's the prime suspect of my headaches. Although these problems seem to be getting better overall, it's a struggle, and I'm definitely not 'good' yet. To keep swelling down during this process, my chiropractor advised me to ice my neck, back, hips, and knees, three times a day. Each icing session takes half an hour (two ice packs to do 10 minutes on each area), so it eats up a bit of time.
As for the therapist: several sessions and a psychological test have rendered a conclusion; I have Schizoid Personality Disorder. It's probably not what you might think it to be. To get a good understanding of what it is, check out these three pages on WebMD http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-schizoid-personality-disorder
Life experiences have led me to this point, but despite how justified I think my view of my surroundings are, that's really beside the point. The point is, I haven't been happy for a long time, and I don't see it ever getting better; that needs to change. I'm told it's going to be a long process, and I'm not going to think differently overnight. So, if it seems like I'm not interested in you or what you do, it's because I'm not...but, try not to take it too personal; I'm that way with almost anyone. To put it nicely, if it turns out that I do like you, then that's quite a feat.
« Last Edit: November 18, 2015, 12:28:07 PM by Abrom »
River: *Drops hacky sack*
River: "Can you throw this is as far as where Anya's at?"
John: "I can try."
John: "(Now I'll amaze her with my feat of strength.)"
John: *Throws hacky sack into ocean*
River: *Runs to cliff edge*
John: "River! Stop looking at my awesome throw and get away from that ledge!"
River: *Backs into John and silently sits down*
John: "(...Nailed it.)"

Dragon Mage

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Re: Hey...I'm Abrom
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2015, 03:54:41 PM »
Sorry for how your life's been :( I hope things will get better for you later on.

Roxaszu

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Re: Hey...I'm Abrom
« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2015, 05:33:47 AM »
Well,
Better late than never... 
Welcome and It's nice to have you here, Abrom
« Last Edit: November 19, 2015, 01:59:10 PM by Roxaszu »

Sun

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Re: Hey...I'm Abrom
« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2015, 01:47:43 PM »
Hm, I see. You've got quite a lot to deal with, Abrom.
I'm curious as to what schizoid personality disorder entails. With you not caring about most people, does it also mean that you don't care a lot about what others think about you, or when they try to hurt you? And does it mean you would always say what you think and not care what effect it might have on others?

Abrom

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Re: Hey...I'm Abrom
« Reply #4 on: November 19, 2015, 06:40:23 PM »
Hm, I see. You've got quite a lot to deal with, Abrom.
I'm curious as to what schizoid personality disorder entails. With you not caring about most people, does it also mean that you don't care a lot about what others think about you, or when they try to hurt you? And does it mean you would always say what you think and not care what effect it might have on others?
I can't speak for everyone, I can only speak on my behalf. As it's been explained to me, I lack empathy. When I try to put myself in someone else's shoes, I think they have the worst of intentions. As for being 'indifferent' to praise or criticism, I either feel nothing when complimented, or I see the negative suggestion that goes with it. And, if someone takes their criticisms with me too far, I get pissed...very pissed. It wouldn't be so bad if I had an effective outlet, but I don't, so everything's come to a breaking point. I dwell and over-analyze situations, and if I think someone's out of line, I'll definitely tell them why they're wrong. It's not that I'm autistic; I recognize situations and can learn from them, but what I learn from it usually isn't what's best for me.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2015, 06:47:19 PM by Abrom »
River: *Drops hacky sack*
River: "Can you throw this is as far as where Anya's at?"
John: "I can try."
John: "(Now I'll amaze her with my feat of strength.)"
John: *Throws hacky sack into ocean*
River: *Runs to cliff edge*
John: "River! Stop looking at my awesome throw and get away from that ledge!"
River: *Backs into John and silently sits down*
John: "(...Nailed it.)"

Abrom

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Re: Hey...I'm Abrom
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2015, 07:48:42 PM »
Edit - I'm just going to erase what I had here, because I said something that caused others to worry. It was wrong of me. Sorry.
« Last Edit: November 22, 2015, 09:54:52 PM by Abrom »
River: *Drops hacky sack*
River: "Can you throw this is as far as where Anya's at?"
John: "I can try."
John: "(Now I'll amaze her with my feat of strength.)"
John: *Throws hacky sack into ocean*
River: *Runs to cliff edge*
John: "River! Stop looking at my awesome throw and get away from that ledge!"
River: *Backs into John and silently sits down*
John: "(...Nailed it.)"

Sun

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Re: Hey...I'm Abrom
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2015, 08:08:59 PM »
That was ... unexpected.
Not sure if you'll read this. But what you wrote sounds a bit cryptic and worrisome. Abrom, if this therapist doesn't cut it anymore, can you see about finding another one?
Whether you're here on these forums or not, totally your decision.
Just, please take care.

Dragon Mage

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Re: Hey...I'm Abrom
« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2015, 08:14:55 PM »
An intro and outro in one thread? That sucks man. Well farewell, Abrom.

Austin Li

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Re: Hey...I'm Abrom
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2015, 08:31:26 PM »
....
I love milk.

Legacyblade

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Re: Hey...I'm Abrom
« Reply #9 on: November 21, 2015, 09:21:38 PM »
I understand where you're coming from. For a good chunk of my life I also lacked empathy and always assumed everyone had the worst of intentions. Getting out more into the real world will help a ton. But you'll always be welcome here Abrom :) I hope things start going better for you.

P.S. If you have trouble connecting and understanding people, try studying imrpov comedy. Between that and reading a lot of psychology books, I was able to figure people out enough to fake connection until I learned how to actually connect! Maybe it'll help you too. :D

Erenussocrates

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Re: Hey...I'm Abrom
« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2015, 08:22:36 AM »
Oh well, I hope it turns out better for you dude, you are always welcome here.
Videogame developers are not gods that anyone should worship. I hereby decide that is my top existential reason to prove that horrible, horrible misconception, because that is becoming annoyingly rampant in every corner of the internet.  They can deserve critism, or thrashing even. It doesn't even need to be constructive critism. And even if you are a free game developer doesn't mean community is your personal ego farm.

Eli

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Re: Hey...I'm Abrom
« Reply #11 on: November 22, 2015, 05:39:23 PM »
Abrom, I might have not always agreed with your opinions, but I have always admired the fact that you expressed your opinion without any fear of whether others will like it or not, also your posts showed that you seriously consider the facts and think about the thing you are going to post about.
I hope we can see you here again, and I hope things go well in your life.

Abrom

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Re: Hey...I'm Abrom
« Reply #12 on: November 22, 2015, 09:51:49 PM »
Yeah, I just did something I shouldn't have, but didn't follow through all the way. I got a change of venue now, so hopefully that'll help. I'm can't stand most people, but I obviously can't be left to my own thoughts either; gotta find the right balance. Thanks for the concern everybody.
River: *Drops hacky sack*
River: "Can you throw this is as far as where Anya's at?"
John: "I can try."
John: "(Now I'll amaze her with my feat of strength.)"
John: *Throws hacky sack into ocean*
River: *Runs to cliff edge*
John: "River! Stop looking at my awesome throw and get away from that ledge!"
River: *Backs into John and silently sits down*
John: "(...Nailed it.)"

Sun

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Re: Hey...I'm Abrom
« Reply #13 on: November 23, 2015, 12:43:11 AM »
Phew.
Stupid as it may sound, who else to have passionate debates with about Finding Paradise? And don't expect mercy from my end if we see things differently concerning that game (chuckle).  :seraismile:

Eli

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Re: Hey...I'm Abrom
« Reply #14 on: November 23, 2015, 09:43:47 AM »
Glad to see your post, Abrom, looking forward to see your debates with Sun :)