Author Topic: Monolouge from the antagoinst in my story  (Read 1705 times)

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Legacyblade

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Monolouge from the antagoinst in my story
« on: November 10, 2008, 02:04:35 PM »
Hey everyone. I'm not quite sure where to post this, but might as well in the creativity showcase, eh? Anyways, I was bored a few minutes ago, and decided to write an internal monologue for the antagonist in my game. I'll give you a summary of who he is first.

The antagonist is named Araden. He was the classic prophesied hero who defeated the dark lord. But he realized that the world was still suffering, filled with injustice, murder, and corruption. So he decided to destroy it, and create a perfect world. This is his internal monlouge after he's been doing this for awhile.

Spoiler: show
Countless dead. Countless innocents sacrificed for my vision of a paradise. I still see them, and hear their screams. I canít let their deaths be for nothing. But I get the sinking feeling that Iíve become even more twisted than the evil I once delivered Celenath from. I canít help but wonder, is this really worth it? Can my acts be redeemed because of the motive behind them?


Again, just felt like posting this somewhere, XD Do you guys think he sounds like a good person, even though he has slaughtered a ton of people?

Muffin

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Re: Monolouge from the antagoinst in my story
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2008, 04:12:23 PM »
This somehow reminds me of Death Note  :o ( the creating a perfect world part)
Well i think he's an idiot, He is killing innocent people and he is good?
 Poor Araden..  :(
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything can ever be this good again
The only thing i'll ever ask of you, you gotta promise not to stop when i say when..

Ruzu

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Re: Monolouge from the antagoinst in my story
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2008, 05:11:41 PM »
Hi Light, no jk.
He sounds confused and has no idea the world is always going to be that way(probably). Though he still sounds like a good guy, and still sounds like some other villains.

Legacyblade

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Re: Monolouge from the antagoinst in my story
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2008, 09:54:46 PM »
What's death note?

and yah, he was once the cliche prophesied hero, but now has pretty much taken on the role of dark lord. In the novel he appears in (the prequel to my game), I'm debating making him much more sure of what he's doing. But in the game, he's not sure at all anymore. But if he is all sure of himself about it, then he feels to much like a cliche villain to me :/

And I'm glad I got it across right. I want him to sound confused, and a good guy, but still have a hint of villainy.

Thanks for the comments.

Reives

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Re: Monolouge from the antagoinst in my story
« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2008, 01:23:14 AM »
Death Note is a popular dark-ish anime show about a book in which you write someone's name in, and that someone dies and stuff. It's quite a cool show and has some nice psychological perspectives to it. c: I think it's rated very very high.

About the monologue - Nothing much I can think of to comment, but seems like it works. The theme itself feels a bit overdone but that can't really be helped and isn't a big deal given the details of it are pulled off right. The last sentence feels like it doesn't flow as well as the others though, perhaps due to the choice of some of the key words.

Legacyblade

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Re: Monolouge from the antagoinst in my story
« Reply #5 on: November 11, 2008, 11:44:34 AM »
ah ok. I don't watch anime, so that must be why I've never heard of Deathnote. And about the last sentance, I agree. I was having trouble wording it. Thanks for the comments, reives.

soranokira

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Re: Monolouge from the antagoinst in my story
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2008, 03:33:14 AM »
There's a drama-movie on Death Note as well as a manga and anime version.
The basic plot is there's a highschool student called Light Yagami who's basically a genius. One day, he finds a notebook on the ground called Death Note. apparently the name of the person who is written on it will die after 5sec due to the heart stopping.(For it to work, a picture of the person must be 'imaged' in the head of the 'writer') Then Light wishes to use the book's power to kill all the criminals and ex-criminals, because some of them actually get off scot-free for committing crimes due to their family background etc. so therefore after messing around a little, he 'masters' the Death Note and attempts to use it to 'recreate' the world and become it's 'god' so no crimes will ever happen again. He uses a nickname 'Kira' when he speaks to the world via the media(of course he makes sure that he won't be tracked down by fingerprints etc.)

So in a sense the re-creation of the world is similar to your character.

and your character sounds good for an antagonist who was once a protagonist.
You might wanna set one section, the so-called prologue whereby you play as that character as well =3
The wind will cease to be one day, and as I pass, what marks remain?
Graduation is not the end, we'll still be friends from here on out