Author Topic: Poem on the game  (Read 2170 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

udit.singh921

  • Tier 1
  • *
  • Posts: 2
Poem on the game
« on: March 03, 2014, 02:50:47 PM »
Hello guys, I'm new here. Firstly i'm totally in love with this beautiful game. In its honor, I had written down a poem. let me know what you think. :)

Here goes :

Crimson hues decayed as cold night swallowed the sun
Withered leaves prowled the street
whispering prayers for the passing one
The autumn wind caressed his cheek
as he lay  still on his cushioned bed
He waited patiently till time fate and him met

His blurry vision glanced yonder
Groping in the darkness for a familiar face
Yet, only bloodshot eyes that matched his gander
were of hundred paper rabbits haunting the place
drenched with sadness and despair, he folded his hazel eyes
Inside his mind, a voice echoed, as he reached for the skies

Oh! All the way to the moon
Where none can tell midnight from noon
Like gods on earth we shall gaze
Oh! All the way to the moon

Only strands of grey brushed his beard
Yet the freckles on his face betrayed his age
He tried speak, hoping he’d be heard
He wished she’d snap out of her glass cage
She kept making paper rabbits, firmly attached to her chair
Often she looked up, cast a smile, but he knew she wasn’t there

Her illness strayed her from telling what was in her heart
She’d shut herself in the corner making her origami rabbit
Each time she made one, she showed him and asked what he thought
But he always replied how odd it was for it to have a yellow belly and blue feet
She kept quite and smiled at him , fighting back a tear
In her mind , a voice told her something she’d always wanted to hear

Oh! All the way to the moon
Where none can tell midnight from noon
Like gods on earth we shall gaze
Oh! All the way to the moon

They sat together with their backs against the lighthouse that lived on a cliff
in their wedding attire, their hearts with joy were filled
They talked about how wonderful the place would be to live
To spend the rest of their lives with their kids running across the field
He held her close and told she was different , and that’s why he fell in love with her
Her eyes went blank  and she asked her if that was all he could remember

She pointed at the sky and the world was lost to them
As they drew constellations from deep within  the void
Stars shone brightly delivering blessings from heaven
He looked cheerful, yet in his mind he could not avoid
the blank eyes he  recieved , for something seemed to be missing
A memory perhaps lost, but someone somewhere was hissing

Oh! All the way to the moon
Where none can tell midnight from noon
Like gods on earth we shall gaze
Oh! All the way to the moon

He trotted across the woods, away from all the noise
Away from all the kids that bothered him in the annual fair
Towards the cliff he ran till a cricket’s chirp was the only voice
To his surprise he saw a girl sitting on a log over there
He tried approaching her but she said nothing
Her eyes firmly fixed on the yellow moon without blinking

He told her he could make any constellation
Out from the stars in the blue lightyears apart
She broke her gaze as he started his formation
A rabbit with the moon for a belly contrasting with the dark
They spent hours together, and promised to meet even after
When she asked where to look should they lose the other, he broke out into laughter

Oh! All the way to the moon
Where none can tell midnight from noon
Like gods on earth we shall gaze
Oh! All the way to the moon

Oh! All the way to the moon
Where none can tell midnight from noon
Like gods on earth we shall gaze
Oh! All the way to the moon

Sun

  • *
  • Tier 6
  • **
  • Posts: 435
  • Gender: Female
  • Person of personness
  • Current Mood: happy happy
Re: Poem on the game
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2014, 06:38:34 PM »
I see you took a few select scenes from the story and wrote about them. And changed the perspective - from seeing through Eva and Neil's eyes through mostly John's and shortly River's.
Umm.
I feel so unfit to "review" it - is it enough to say it's pretty?

udit.singh921

  • Tier 1
  • *
  • Posts: 2
Re: Poem on the game
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2014, 04:59:09 AM »
well, i don't see anyone as being unfit as per se. If you enjoyed it or not is good enough for me .

And putting in Eva and Neil would have complicated way too many things for me :p

Tomihask

  • Tier 1
  • *
  • Posts: 2
  • Gender: Male
    • Ծաղիկներ
  • Current Mood: happy happy
Re: Poem on the game
« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2014, 02:19:37 PM »
I like it , that's awesome .