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Anyone out there want to help me with this project...

YES I want to help
1 (20%)
No
3 (60%)
Nah your idea sucks
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Total Members Voted: 5

Voting closed: January 20, 2013, 10:35:30 PM

Author Topic: At The Worlds Edge (updated yet again)  (Read 10540 times)

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Kardian1000 (Klasher1000)

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At The Worlds Edge (updated yet again)
« on: October 04, 2012, 10:53:18 AM »
I am currently developing a new game this will be my first out  of hopefully many games.

Opening scene
scene begins

Joh: SIR COME QUICKLY ITS THE ORB ITS GONE !!!!

Anklashador: Do not fear my son for I used the orb to grant my wishes.

Johnny: And what exactly were those wishes sir?

Anklashador: That i would become the village elder in our town. After all im the one who built the Grand hall where the elders meet, and I am the one who also the 1st person that lived in the town.

Johnny: Sir you look upset is something wrong?

Anklashador: Well Johnny there was a catch to all of this i got my wish but when my son is born he will be born with a disease that on his 20th birthday will kill him. I know it sounds selfish of my to put my own life before my sons but I shall be the elder of our village at all costs.

Johnny: You are a disgrace you don't deserve to be the elder!

Anklashador: Ah so I must use the new powers obtained from my wishes to dispose of you after all no one can know of what I've done. After all if they found out I would be thrown out of the village and we cant have that happen can we. Goodbye Johnny, and remember that I'm only doing this because I have to not because I want to.

Johnny: WAIT... before you kill me can you at least tell me what it is your other two wishes were?

Anklashador: Very well you will be dead soon anyways so it doesnít matter if I tell you or not. I used the other two wishes to make myself the most powerful warrior in the land and the most powerful Sorcerer. Now I think its time I dispose of you once and for all!!

screen flashes

Anklashador: I didnít do that what just happened?

Johnny's voice: I am the essence of the orb in human form I led you here to find the orb so I could see what kind of man you really were. I roam the planet seeking people like you who wish they could have there dreams come true. I will allow your wishes to be granted but as soon as your son is born you shall die for your selfishness. And after you die your power will be absorbed back into my essence. You have 50 years to rule your village Anklashador  make them good.

scene ends
please post comments on what you think i should change or some interesting ideas that i could use for making this game i guessing ill be releasing this game in late January of 2013

also if you would like to be character in the game send me an idea of what you want to look like and what you want your name to be and ill see if i can get you into the game ok thanks all.

Sincerely
 Kardian1000 also known as Klasher1000
« Last Edit: December 20, 2012, 11:21:11 AM by Kardian1000 (Klasher1000) »

Rainheart

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Re: At The Worlds Edge
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2012, 10:57:15 AM »
I like the name: At World's Edge. It's classy  :seraismile:
Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
~ Author Unknown

Kardian1000 (Klasher1000)

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Re: At The Worlds Edge
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2012, 10:59:12 AM »
thanks i just thought of it when i got bored so how is the plot so far i think its ok but it could use some work

Kardian1000 (Klasher1000)

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Re: At The Worlds Edge
« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2012, 11:17:38 AM »
I like the name: At World's Edge. It's classy  :seraismile:
:) thanks so much

Rainheart

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Re: At The Worlds Edge
« Reply #4 on: October 04, 2012, 11:37:22 AM »
Well, if you ask me, the story has some nice potentials, so if you know how to put them to good use, the game will flourish. The concept of the 3 wishes can ultimately lead the character to tough dilemmas on where to use them, when to use them, on whom to use them, or what to use them for. So you see, there are endless possibilities. Also, the 50 years span is another thing. You can stretch the game's timeline to 50 years, so that the main character (or any other character) happens to find it again after 50 years have passed. I don't know, it could even get destroyed, or lost before the wish limit...
So, in a word... WOW!   :o

What I suggest is that you work more on your plot and add some challenging twists to the storyline. The game has what it takes to become one memorable experience for all to enjoy. Don't underestimate it.  :seraismile:

Your framework is amazing. I can't wait to see it in its adolescence.  :seraismile:
Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
~ Author Unknown

Kardian1000 (Klasher1000)

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Re: At The Worlds Edge
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2012, 11:39:58 AM »
Well, if you ask me, the story has some nice potentials, so if you know how to put them to good use, the game will flourish. The concept of the 3 wishes can ultimately lead the character to tough dilemmas on where to use them, when to use them, on whom to use them, or what to use them for. So you see, there are endless possibilities. Also, the 50 years span is another thing. You can stretch the game's timeline to 50 years, so that the main character (or any other character) happens to find it again after 50 years have passed. I don't know, it could even get destroyed, or lost before the wish limit...
So, in a word... WOW!   :o

What I suggest is that you work more on your plot and add some challenging twists to the storyline. The game has what it takes to become one memorable experience for all to enjoy. Don't underestimate it.  :seraismile:

Your framework is amazing. I can't wait to see it in its adolescence.  :seraismile:

Your definitely right i was planning on having him fall in love and have to use a wish to save the women he loves and put in some other tought desicions for hime to make im still wondering if i should put battles in the game though :)

Rainheart

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Re: At The Worlds Edge
« Reply #6 on: October 04, 2012, 11:44:21 AM »
@battles: Oh, that depends on whether you're willing to introduce villains to the game or not. But if it's only going to be related to more domestic or familial affairs, I don't see a need for battles.
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Kardian1000 (Klasher1000)

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Re: At The Worlds Edge
« Reply #7 on: October 04, 2012, 11:46:10 AM »
thats what i was pondering i was thinking maybe bringing the uncle in as a villain. Just thought of something uncle murders father to gain eldership!!!  XD

Question Mark

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Re: At The Worlds Edge
« Reply #8 on: October 04, 2012, 11:47:47 AM »
Your mother keeps signing to you about a mystical orb at the worlds edge that your father used long ago to become the mighty warrior he was. apparently this orb can grant 3 wishes to one person then it vanishes for 50 years.
What was the dad's other two wishes?

According to your mother its been 50 years since that day and if you find the orb you can heal your deafness and become rightful elder of the town. And thus your quest begins.
Kind of cliche. Other than that, the only other thing I note is: what's to stop the character from achieving this goal? There ought to be a clear, presentable obstacle to the main character, be it his sanity (for example) or a classic villain.

please post comments on what you think i should change or some interesting ideas that i could use for making this game i guessing ill be releasing this game in late January of 2013
Please do post some more ideas and stuff so that I may give my insights.

Also, please work on your grammar. A clearer grammar also serves as an attention-grabber both for your project page and the game itself.

Rainheart

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Re: At The Worlds Edge
« Reply #9 on: October 04, 2012, 11:48:49 AM »
It seems familiar somehow... *cough cough*Claudius*cough cough*  :3
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Kardian1000 (Klasher1000)

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Re: At The Worlds Edge
« Reply #10 on: October 04, 2012, 11:51:43 AM »
Your mother keeps signing to you about a mystical orb at the worlds edge that your father used long ago to become the mighty warrior he was. apparently this orb can grant 3 wishes to one person then it vanishes for 50 years.
What was the dad's other two wishes?
that he would have a son whos detiny would change the world and that he would live long enough to see his village prosper
According to your mother its been 50 years since that day and if you find the orb you can heal your deafness and become rightful elder of the town. And thus your quest begins.
Kind of cliche. Other than that, the only other thing I note is: what's to stop the character from achieving this goal? There ought to be a clear, presentable obstacle to the main character, be it his sanity (for example) or a classic villain.

clever idea i was thinking about this and someone who cant hear anything must be going absolutely insane after the human mind is only as stable as the person themselves

please post comments on what you think i should change or some interesting ideas that i could use for making this game i guessing ill be releasing this game in late January of 2013
Please do post some more ideas and stuff so that I may give my insights.

Also, please work on your grammar. A clearer grammar also serves as an attention-grabber both for your project page and the game itself.

and yes thank you for your advice grammar was never a good subject of mine i only write well when im writing scripts for some reason

Merlandese

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Re: At The Worlds Edge
« Reply #11 on: October 04, 2012, 01:37:56 PM »
Has some nice potential, but it has also some predictable cliches. I guess we'll see.

I agree with Q-Mark about the grammar (and spelling). It's pretty important when designing a game, so it should also be important when pitching it. :)

The main obstacle I would like to see from this game is very clear to me, and I think it'd have the most potential in this way. Since the main character is def, he has trouble figuring out people's promises. As he searches for the 3 Wish Orb, he finds people who help him and also communicate some sort of huge issues that can only be fixed by a wish. As the player moves along, he promises to help these people by giving them a wish, until the last promise he makes has him promising all three wishes to other people/villages.

But, by the end of his adventure, he no longer feels he needs his own wish. He thinks he can finally understand problems and can help his village without the use of wishes, even if it means he can't be the elder.

When he finds the orb, he fully prepares to use the three wishes to help all of the people he promised. But the twist is that the rumor was only partly true:  the orb only grants one wish. The father lied (which explains why we don't know his other two wishes). The player is then confronted with the task of choosing who to wish for.

Dr. Zooks McCoy

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Re: At The Worlds Edge
« Reply #12 on: October 04, 2012, 01:45:56 PM »
Has some nice potential, but it has also some predictable cliches. I guess we'll see.
Agreed. I like Lan's take on it, though. Lan, that's damn intense. You're good at coming up with stuff like this!

Kardian1000 (Klasher1000)

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Re: At The Worlds Edge
« Reply #13 on: October 04, 2012, 03:27:13 PM »
Lan i like your thinking in fact if you would like to help me with the story line/Plot i would really apreciate it.

Merlandese

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Re: At The Worlds Edge
« Reply #14 on: October 04, 2012, 09:30:36 PM »
Haha! Man, ideas are a dime a dozen, so you can keep it. :)

It's the actual work that's hard to come by. Developing a game is no easy feat, especially if you want it to be good. As much as I wish you luck, I don't have the time to help with this project. Sorry. But I wish you the best!

My advice would be to get to work straight away and never stop working. :p Once you post some steady progress, I'm sure you can inspire others to help. :)