Author Topic: A short 5 minute demo for my upcoming game  (Read 2929 times)

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AnKun

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A short 5 minute demo for my upcoming game
« on: August 03, 2012, 07:23:46 AM »
Hi, I'm currently looking for a team who'd take my project. The idea is to make a story-oriented "show" with a bit of gameplay. The story revolves around themes of violence and power. The game would have an overall darker setting, foul language and mature themes.

The story ain't gonna have a single RPG cliche, but alot of anime cliches though. Here's a short demo I made to show you what I have in mind:

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/23393188/Game1.exe

note: you must have RPGMXP installed to play it.

This is a cutscene about 5 minutes long, without music and original resources (that's gonna change later). Since I don't have mapping/scripting skills, I made couple of crappy maps, and a basic situation that shows the outline of anti-hero protagonist I have in mind, and his personality. The dialogues also aren't written well enough because more dialogues would mean more scripting, and this is to show you the basic idea.

I have quite alot of story material still open for debate, and need help with technical realisation.
« Last Edit: August 03, 2012, 07:26:01 AM by AnKun »

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Re: A short 5 minute demo for my upcoming game
« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2012, 01:14:00 PM »
When you said that it was going to be dark, I didn't realize how dark your projection would be. Granted, RMXP's default and lacking graphics is countering the overall seriousness of the presentation. My thoughts for what I've seen to quickly make the darkness standout:

-Color correction* (I can't help you with this one as I'm color blind). RMXP is much simpler so setting a simple screen tone would also alter the mood. Right now, everything's too bright even though it's storming.

-Some dialogue alterations. I understand that right now, you are not using any script. I would however suggest that you at least grab a custom message system. It's counteractive to a scene's tension for a cutoff message to display the dash (e.g. "What the-") for nearly a second. Not to mention that custom message systems usually allow you to display the dialogue letter-by-letter instead of all at once which means that you are also likely to be able to control the speed of the letters which can help embellish a character's emotions to the dialogue.

-I'm not really a fan of showing "*cries*" in a dialogue. Perhaps you could use a subtle crying recording that would play once the female character is downed. But for now, I think it would be the same, if not better, if you simply lose the "*cries*".

-Don't go overboard with exclamation points. Use between one to three.

-The choreography is okay. The only complaints I have against them is that the bandits seem to give the civilians a lot of space and that the movements are sluggishly slow. The latter also results in the scene slowing down considerably. Tightly choreographed movements ensure, if not improve, the focus of players to the screen.

-Until the antihero appeared, I sincerely thought that the male civilian was a main character. Perhaps you could show the antihero more (or first) to shift the attention to him. It could probably go like this:
-Show the antihero walking through the forest.
-Stops. Dialogue(Antihero: The storm's here.). Fadeout.
-Fadein. Show the two civilians being intercepted by bandits.
-After the male civilian is stabbed, fadeout.
-Fadein. Show the antihero still walking. Stops and overhears some screaming, turns left and proceeds to follow it.
-Antihero arrives at the commotion, stops a distance away from the bandits.
-Head bandit taunts him and tells him to turn around.
-Antihero ignores and passes through the bandits. Head bandit catches up and blocks him.
-Antihero kills bandits.

*Color correction does A LOT to a scene. See here for non-RMXP examples: https://developer.valvesoftware.com/wiki/File:Colorcorrection13wm.jpg
https://developer.valvesoftware.com/wiki/Intermediate_Lighting#Lighting_psychology

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With that said, I will ask, which part of writing will you handle? Just the basic direction of the story? The actual dialogue? Everything?

Hope this post helps.

AnKun

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Re: A short 5 minute demo for my upcoming game
« Reply #2 on: August 03, 2012, 11:33:21 PM »
Thanks, some excellent suggestions. But the main reason for using "show text" for dialogues, and all those *cries*, is simply because I haven't figured out much about RPGM yet. Hell, I don't know how to use custom dialogoes in the first place.

And I wanted to make kind of a surprise. We see a character and we think he's a main hero. Then we think.. sheesh, he's so cliched. And then boom, the real hero appears to everyone surprise =)

There's two reasons for slow movements of the caracters:
1. To make everything seem more realistic.
2. To higlight the calmness of characters. The bandit used to robbing and killing, so he's calm. He doesn't need to hurry. Also, he want's to play with his victims a bit. The antihero, he just happened to pass by. He simply walks as if nothig happened, there's no reason for him to hurry. When he's surrounded, you can picture him standing there with his eyes closed, because he knows he'll just walk over bandits like they're not even there. It should show that to make him fight seriously, it'll take really, really strong opponent.

When I'll correct everything, I think this scene could serve as kind of an intro to the story

With that said, I will ask, which part of writing will you handle? Just the basic direction of the story? The actual dialogue? Everything?

Hope this post helps.

First I'd present an overall direction of the story and what I'd want to achieve at the end, then cut it down to individual chapters and scenes. Then I'd write out a next to-be-made scene and dialogues, and show it to everyone involved so they could make their suggestions and correction. So basically, I'd have everything planned out on paper, but if anyone would come up with a better idea (should it be for entire story or just the current scene), it's always open for changes.
« Last Edit: August 04, 2012, 12:31:32 AM by AnKun »

AnKun

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Re: A short 5 minute demo for my upcoming game
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2012, 08:32:03 AM »
Ok, I'm half-through the second part of presentation wich should give some more insight into the story, and then, after 2-3 weeks when I'll have more free time, I'll begin an all-out hunt for the team on different forums.

Kirroha

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Re: A short 5 minute demo for my upcoming game
« Reply #4 on: August 26, 2012, 08:37:28 AM »
Just played it through. Seems quite interesting so far, but the "*cries*" kind of makes it hard to take seriously. The main dude reminds me quite a bit of Kirito from Sword Art Online, off the top of my head. :)

AnKun

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Re: A short 5 minute demo for my upcoming game
« Reply #5 on: September 03, 2012, 02:19:12 AM »
Actually I've already gathered some team and we're working on it right now. The funny thing is, after being shown some ropes on how it could be done better, I can't help it but laugh at this presentation, it's so miserable :D

We already have a few scenes with a somewhat more serious and darker setting, but with a healthy dose of comic relief characters (you can think Berserk as comparison). Hope it'll result in something soon.

Also changed all the graphics.

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Re: A short 5 minute demo for my upcoming game
« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2012, 02:59:21 AM »
Actually I've already gathered some team and we're working on it right now. The funny thing is, after being shown some ropes on how it could be done better, I can't help it but laugh at this presentation, it's so miserable :D
Everybody goes through that feeling at some point. :P

We already have a few scenes with a somewhat more serious and darker setting, but with a healthy dose of comic relief characters (you can think Berserk as comparison). Hope it'll result in something soon.

Also changed all the graphics.
Good to hear. Would like to see the more updated one.