Author Topic: [RMVX]Tales of the Drunken Paladin:The Third Book  (Read 9598 times)

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[RMVX]Tales of the Drunken Paladin:The Third Book
« on: February 17, 2010, 04:11:49 PM »
NOTE:I take no credit for this game at all, I am simply posting because it's freaking funny, in a good way. Thank you.
All credits go to DrunkenPaladin. Also this game is for RPG Maker VX

[Several friends and myself have been discussing the possibility of starting a regular comic strip about the characters from this game. I'd like to hear your input, concerns, and suggestions regarding this idea. Vote in the poll and PM me with any comments!]

[The current latest version of Tales of the Drunken Paladin is 2.1.3 Click on the banner for more details!]

Thanks for checking out Tales of the Drunken Paladin! If you enjoy the game or demo, support the project by posting any of the Drunken Paladin artwork or banners in your (acceptable) desired locations!

This is now a full RPG in the old-fashion style of early Final Fantasy (just with much higher resolution!). You can play it even if you don't have RPG Maker, so long as you download the version with the "RTP" included. All files are compressed as a .rar, so some extraction program is required to play. If you don't have RPG Maker VX, install the RTP first, then extract the game file and play. It's intended for comedic purposes and general enjoyment, and is completely free.

Controls: Interact with objects with Enter or Space-bar. Use the arrows to navigate. Hit "Esc" to open the menu or to close out windows.



Full Game Version 2.1.3: DOWNLOAD RTP AND GAME HERE


Yes, we've finally established a forum and web site for ourselves at! For the most part, all of my attention will be directed towards that for a while, so swing by and sign up to chat with us, we'd love to have you! Visit the trailer can be found at the top of the Site!


Thanks to the RMVX community for these shiny awards!

The people who have given TDP a try, say...

"Combines awesomeness with flat-out awesome makes-you-cry humor. Best RMVX game ever." -Peva
"Just wanted to say, this is by far the best RPG Maker VX game I've played, and I've played quite a few." -Dragndude9
"Freaking. Amazing. I loved every second of it. I laughed so hard, for ages. 9999/10." - Raian the Fallen
"I downloaded this game last month, and I think I had a stroke from laughing because I fainted and woke up with my friend shaking me..." - Roxas the Nobody
"I recently played it..and I lol'd. I NEVER LOL." - RealFolkBlues
"I have to say honest to god this might be one of my favorite games of all time now. I have not stopped laughing since I've started playing." - Deathwyvern
"This is one of the best games I've played for the PC, commercial games included." - seven207
"i have to say, this is one of the best rm games i've ever played. very few can compare to this masterpiece." - Kydo
"I'm sure I missed some things, but all in all it has a great story, great humor, great characters, great graphics (you made the rtp look good :3), and great everything!" - Kang
"I actually thought this game was going to be only a nothing-more-than-comedy-game, but this is definitely not. *applauds*" - NeoMarmar
"this is the best non-commercial VX game I have ever played... every single dialogue is absolutely hilarious!" - Frostoria
"I've been thinking RPGs have died to me, but this game proved it wrong." - Radscythe
"Seriously entertaining and very most excellent." - Grim Reaper
"this game is funny as shit... I keep spitting up my alcohol" - Lyonn
"Seriously had me in stitches." - Pointy
"The game was full of non-stop laughter..." - Nanamiko
"so... I basically almost cried with laughter while playing this game. It's fantastic." - Rosange
"I absolutely loved it." - Babyangelgirl2
"Very, very humorous. This is one of the few RPG Maker games I have really enjoyed in a while." - Confederacy
"You should consider warning people that they may wet themselves laughing while playing the game." - Munkis
"This game is great. It has well developed characters, attention to detail, and a sense of humor that has me laughing notstop." - Nairelev
"Good game and also very funny, I played this game more than once." - Apedemak
"This game is pure sex... Hilarious. I almost cried at some points." - Khaosn95
"I just test played it, and wow this game is totally awesome" - Radscythe
"this is the best VX game i've played by far. love the attention to detail, and of course, the humor." - Diedrupo
"Wow! This is by far the funniest/best game I've played on RMVX. Interactive items, Hilarious comments and all around fun!" - Ketski
"Everything that these people said is true. This game is so hilarious and amazingly well done that I just did not want to stop playing." - Lunara
"This is like the most epic thing ever... Has me rofl'ing no matter how much of a bad mood I'm in." - Chill19
"It is a really enjoyable game with huge amounts of detail..." - Jim42
"This game's good, and I hope it get's viewed by others." - TNinja
"...this game is motherfuckin' great... I was literally laughing throughout the whole game." - Ashvir
"I love the game" - Harlequynn
"This game is so freakin awesome... Anebriate is the best main character I've ever seen." - Antares
"Probably one of the best I have played here." - Ketsuekii


Literally THOUSANDS of events with which to interact, all promising unique and sometimes profitable features.
Optional characters spice up dialog and have an effect on the story-line!
Optional hidden bosses are a tough challenge but give rare, often one-of-a-kind treasures. There's even an angry potato boss!
Look at the world differently depending on the time of day. Dozens of time-specific events are happening all around you!
Tons of side-quests and mini-adventures distract the protagonist from his goal, and give fun prizes or even money!
Hundreds of unique weapons and armor are found throughout the game, making character customization thought-provoking and interesting.
A bizarre and one-of-a-kind story line takes the player through an interesting and comical series of events unlike any other.
A side-view battle system complete with ATB and unique character skills and a range of hilarious items with which to sustain yourself in combat.


Tales of the Drunken Paladin: Book III follows the life of the world's greatest warrior, as he wastes his talents loafing around with his massive hordes of treasure. A series of unfortunate events leads to him losing his riches, his talents, and his recollection of ever having either one. As if that weren't bad enough, someone burns down the local food place while he's in it, forcing him on a quest to find out who's responsible. As it turns out, the person or persons involved are inextricably linked to his lost riches, and he gradually begins to piece together the realization that he has been severely screwed.


If I don't respond to the thread for whatever reason right away, feel more than free to send me an email at with any question or concerns. It would the preferred method of contact rather than PMs, since I will be notified immediately, and should result in a quicker response. Another method of contact is via AIM at OminousPiratus, but the chances of catching me on that are less likely.



Anebriate is the main character, and the person to whom all the unfortunate things happen. He's generally lazy, hates straining himself, doesn't particularly care to involve himself in extraneous activities, and generally just wants to loaf around. His greatest pleasures include: back-rubs, booze, eating donuts, and sleeping. Nobody is quite sure how he became the world's greatest warrior, and nobody is really surprised when all of a sudden he's forgotten all about it.


Palmer is a Cardinal, a high-ranking member of the Catholic church. He was once an active priest, traveling the world with Anebriate in search of meaning, and money, but over the past few years he's settled down in the Litchfield cathedral to take charge of the clergy's affairs. However, when he finds himself confronted with an oblivious Anebriate, the temptation to tag along is too great, and he forces himself into the party. Palmer may be a stalwart religious defender, but he is in no way a good role model. He's misogynistic and generally abusive towards children. He carries around a walking stick or a cane, which he occasionally uses to "slap a bitch."


Also known as "Deemer the White," he is a powerful magician who lives a peaceful life in the humble forest village of Richmond. When the tavern burns to the ground and magic is suspected however, a number of fingers point in his direction, making him an immediate concern for our protagonist. Whether he is responsible or not, Anebriate must travel to Richmond and speak with him, or to fight, whichever comes first.


Dave is a capable pilot who agrees to help Anebriate and his companions out on their quest by escorting him around free of charge. He's also abundantly friendly and helpful, and nobody really stops to contemplate why he is so eager to help without any apparent benefit. He's so friendly, in fact, that it borders on frightening. I guess they just can't help but trust that beard.

As well as these four primary characters, there are three optional ones that you may attempt to adopt, and it may have substantial impact on the ending of the game if you do...


Emma is a warlock by trade, often using her mysterious magics to help out government officials, or merely to scare animals away from crops for the benefit of local farmers. She is quick-witted and wise, but also short-tempered and intolerant to ignorance, which puts Anebriate in a bad spot. She'll agree to help your little crew in exchange for a rare anthology of poetry, but the book won't be cheap.


Albert is a dedicated thief, and he's been causing some mischief in town. If you agree to help a citizen in need, you might happen upon Albert during one of his nightly stalks through the square. After being prodded for a while and refusing to give up any information, Anebriate comes to learn an extremely significant piece of information about Albert that tends to hinder communication between them. Nevertheless, his skills are impressive, and if you play your cards right you can get Albert on the team.


Webber is clearly a madman. He screams everything he says at the top of his lungs, and is constantly yearning for bloodshed. You may see him around the slums of Gardiner, enjoying a cold one, and it would behoove you to gather what information from him that you can. Some people say Webber wants nothing more than to destroy everything in sight. Some say he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorders. Still others say that all Webber really wants is a friend.


Check out the brand new goofy trailer!


[Digitally Remastered Swamp Action]

[One of a handful of flashbacks regarding Anebriate's questionable past]

[Anebriate's milkshake brings all the hobos to the yard]

[Lewiston is a dangerous and somewhat smelly place]

[Extended item information makes equipping new gear a little more thought-provoking]

[Richmond at night]

[The same shot of Richmond at dawn]

[A little history behind the main character's wealth]

[A little common sense thrown into the RPG mix]

Show your love for Anebriate and the gang with these new fancy-pants banners!

Code: [Select]

Code: [Select]
[url=""][img][/img][/url]Copy/paste the codes above into your signatures!

For anyone struggling with the game or at a loss for where to go next in the story, I have started a cursory walkthrough intended to guide players through the bare bones of the game while giving away as few spoilers, secrets and hidden things as possible. Check it out!]

Character Guide

TDP:III is utilizing the following scripts made by other individuals:

NeoFace System by Woratana
Compact Custom Menu System by Rubymatt
Sideview Battle System by Enu, transl. by Kylock, cont. transl. by Mr. Bubble
Time System by Kylock
Light by Kylock
Lag Reduction, Party Expansion, Item Categorization, Equip Effects and Expanded Equip. scene, all by KGC, transl. by Mr. Anonymous

Other credits:

Meatloaf - "Bat Out of Hell"
Joe Esposito - "You're the Best"
Survivor - "Eye of the Tiger"

- Final Fantasy Tactics OST
- Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles OST
- Final Fantasy VII OST
- Final Fantasy VIII OST
- Final Fantasy IX OST
- Chrono Chross OST
- Chrono Trigger OST

The Black Mages

Blizzard Entertainment
- World of Warcraft OST

Tile Sets

Dr. Phil
- George Washington sprite

- Tile E
- Trees


- Photoshop CS3
- Illustrator CS3


Microsoft Paint

Current game version: 2.1.2 - (12-2-09)
« Last Edit: February 18, 2010, 08:32:38 PM by Sizzle »
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Re: [RMVX]Tales of the Drunken Paladin:The Third Book
« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2010, 08:25:39 PM »
i just want to let you know that the trailer link goes to '' which, obviously, does not work


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Re: [RMVX]Tales of the Drunken Paladin:The Third Book
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2010, 08:30:17 PM »
i just want to let you know that the trailer link goes to '' which, obviously, does not work
Okie thanks ^^
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Re: [RMVX]Tales of the Drunken Paladin:The Third Book
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2010, 09:14:01 PM »
The trailer is gone! :o They took it off youtube because of music or something. WMG did it.

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Re: [RMVX]Tales of the Drunken Paladin:The Third Book
« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2010, 10:50:49 PM »
The dialogues in the screenshots and the title screen game me some LOLZ.  Thank you!  xD

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Re: [RMVX]Tales of the Drunken Paladin:The Third Book
« Reply #5 on: July 29, 2010, 08:45:36 PM »
It's a realy good game. You should also play the expansion of this game "big problem in little china, maine".
It's has even more awesomeness, and Giant Whale!