Author Topic: My Beloved Messy Room - anthem for messy rooms  (Read 4216 times)

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Reives

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My Beloved Messy Room - anthem for messy rooms
« on: February 16, 2010, 07:32:19 PM »
An anthem for messy rooms and their owners everywhere. 8) [Final Version]
(Thanks to Ronnie for the skit.)

My Beloved Messy Room [Mp3 - Click Me]
Kan/Reives


LYRICS:
Spoiler: show

--------------------------------------------------------------
Hey now honey wait, don't file for divorce
I know my room's messy and it's an eye-sore
But it's simply meant to be an obstacle course,
so on a cactus field I can run like a horse
     
Hey now honey wait, don't you use the force
I got your point, I think we both know you're hardcore
But you should also know how much I truly adore
My very own jungle of my junks to explore

 . . . If I can just squeeze through to get to the door
 

All these books tossed on the ground
All these papers scattered everywhere
You're surprised I haven't drowned, you are scared.

Every step you take you trip
Everywhere you look there's a barricade
You glare at me and start to flip, you inflate.

Like a blowfish you huff
and you puff at my stuff
But only dust
Fly up in your gust

So you stomp your foot in anger
Now your foot is stuck inside the rust

***
 
Hey now honey is it really hard to ignore?
I thought I told you that's what eye-patches are for.
I think I got a pair somewhere on top of the floor
And deep beneath these I-don't-know-what-anymore

Hey now honey there's no need for nuclear war
Although I wrote this song when I should do the chore
But I can always shove everything into the drawer
Then voila, the room's not a mess anymore

. . . And now that I'm running out of rhymes for "ore"
I think we'll end this song here before it starts to bore
--------------------------------------------------------------
« Last Edit: February 18, 2010, 11:03:06 PM by Reives »

Raxus

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Re: [WIP] Messy Room (song)
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2010, 09:20:11 PM »
This sounds like my dad. :P My mom thought that you wrote it for him for a couple of seconds. Only as help though, I'd like to point out, on the third line from the bottom, "No more" would sound better as "Anymore". At least, that's my opinion. But you are the Maestro, so...take it with a grain of salt.

Reives

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Re: [WIP] Messy Room (song)
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2010, 09:25:55 PM »
Hahah, I'm sure it sounds like many dads. :p And ahh, thanks for the heads up! It was actually "anymore" in the first draft, but I needed 1 sylable instead of 2 for "any", so I tried "no more" - I'll edit that line.

Raxus

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Re: [WIP] Messy Room (song)
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2010, 09:51:44 PM »
But I really like it. You should try a RnB style once. :seraismile: Or techno. :P

Vasha

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Re: [WIP] Messy Room (song)
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2010, 10:29:21 PM »
oh my gosh! reives techno would be epic!

and your songs are getting more and more random as you keep writing, but they're still awesome. :gothat!:

Raxus

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Re: [WIP] Messy Room (song)
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2010, 10:37:17 PM »
I vote for Techno Reives! :P

Reives

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Re: [WIP] Messy Room (song)
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2010, 02:53:57 AM »
I will if someone shows me a working free autotune program. :P But honestly, I do actually have plans for it.

And yeah, about the randomness, you can blame Pathbinder/Question Mark for it - he got me into Jonathan Coulton songs, and my recent songs are all influenced by that (and Dr. Horrible + Flight of the Conchords).

Ruben

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Re: [WIP] Messy Room (song)
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2010, 09:20:20 AM »
I love it. Sometimes my desk can be very messy although I try to keep everything in order normally.

The lyrics are awesome, absolutely random in a funny and positive way.  :reivsmile:

Quote
But it's simply meant to be an obstacle course,
so on a cactus field I can run like a horse
and
Quote
I thought I told you that's what eyes patches are for.
I think I got a pair somewhere on top of the floor
And deep below these I-don't-know-what-anymore
are my absolutely favourite parts lyric-wise.

I liked the melody most ine the middle part
Spoiler: show
Quote
All these books tossed on the ground
All these papers scattered everywhere
You're surprised I haven't drowned, you are scared.

Every step you take you trip
Everywhere you look there's a  barricade
You glare at me and start to flip, you inflate.

Like a blowfish you huff
and you puff at my stuff
But only dust
Fly up in your gust

So you stomp your foot in anger
Now your foot is stuck inside the rust
 
***

because it was catchy, easy-going and beautiful. I particularly liked the "transition" without text (calm, peaceful and relaxed). The whistling/flute sound is adorable.

Good work. :>
« Last Edit: February 17, 2010, 09:43:25 AM by Squall »

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Re: [WIP] Messy Room (song)
« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2010, 09:32:12 AM »
I love (pardon) loke this song. It's pretty nice. Heh, speaking of messiness, my room is messy all the time. *cough* xD

Ronnie

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Re: [WIP] Messy Room (song)
« Reply #9 on: February 17, 2010, 11:41:26 AM »
Lol, I just tidied up my desk yesterday! *proud* And I found my silver ring that I have been searching for a week now. Though my pencilcase is still who knows where. :/

Anyways, the randomness is epic, I think. I just love the ideas you come up with. xD And though I don't know what will you do to it furthermore, I liked this version with less instrumentals in it.
It made me smile :)
"They say that New York is the City That Never Sleeps. I think the people who say that have never been to Tokyo. Tokyo is the City That Never Even Blinks." (Pianissimo Butterfly) ~ click it, if you like Gravitation, you'll love this.

"Nosza, fogadd bilincseinket, kötözd be fájó szívverésed..." (József Attila)

Reives

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Re: [WIP] Messy Room (song)
« Reply #10 on: February 17, 2010, 02:04:51 PM »
:P Thanks guys. I'm current in loop writing light hearted songs (was working on a Valentine's Day joke song, but couldn't make it in time so I set it aside - will finish in the future though).

My room's fairly messy too. :< Well, mainly desk. Can never get a table that's big enough.

And aye, I don't think I'm going to add much more to it, Ronnie - probably just some supporting vocals (e.g. the "bum bum bum"s). I've actually already made a revision upon this link by the time everyone after Rax's post heard it, so it's version 1.1.

Reives

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Re: My Beloved Messy Room - anthem for messy rooms
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2010, 11:02:25 PM »
Final version now finished, and thanks to Ronnie for a last-minute skit. :p

See first post!

Ronnie

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Re: My Beloved Messy Room - anthem for messy rooms
« Reply #12 on: February 19, 2010, 01:54:41 PM »
You're welcome :D It was fun :P
"They say that New York is the City That Never Sleeps. I think the people who say that have never been to Tokyo. Tokyo is the City That Never Even Blinks." (Pianissimo Butterfly) ~ click it, if you like Gravitation, you'll love this.

"Nosza, fogadd bilincseinket, kötözd be fájó szívverésed..." (József Attila)

Just Lance

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Re: My Beloved Messy Room - anthem for messy rooms
« Reply #13 on: February 19, 2010, 02:53:20 PM »
Really reminds my room. ^^
Quote
"God, it's so hard to be a smartass nowadays." Dr. Neil Watts (To the Moon)

Vasha

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Re: My Beloved Messy Room - anthem for messy rooms
« Reply #14 on: February 19, 2010, 08:36:00 PM »
after which raxus post? :salbrow: