Author Topic: Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]  (Read 5512 times)

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Miss Nile

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Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]
« on: October 13, 2009, 12:34:22 PM »

Introduction and Author's Notes:

This is a an hour long game I am working on currently for a contest on HBGames.org. I'd like to win that contest, or at least give it a try, and have some fun in the process.

I would really appreciate it if people commented on the originality of the story and concept. I always like to be original, but for some reason I can't get that feeling here. If any suggestions would help improving this and making it a little bit more unique, I will really appreciate it and of course, you will be in the credits.

Story:

   “Ophelia” is an old lady who used to be a very talented priestess in the terms of singing. She had the most beautiful voice on lands, that with her singing powers she could make the animals come to her temple’s garden, heal the wounded asking her for help and grow the flowers blooming the roses. She lived happily and peacefully and asked for nothing but for the happy life to continue forever.

   However, although she was a great and well-respected priestess, her prays for the happy life to last were not answered. The priestess loved a young man who was much younger than she was, but love blinded her to see how bad the guy actually was. Jealous of how everyone loved that woman, he stole the music box from which she got her lovely singing. And with that, her beautiful voice was gone and the guy she loved was no longer to be seen anywhere.

    Heartbroken but even more devastated for losing her voice, Ophelia went for her closest friend and wisest pal, “Felicia”. She was an old lady as well although older than Ophelia. Felicia gave her a music box that could help her as a placeholder to use her powers normally although in a limited manner.

   Accepting the help and the gift, the priestess decided to set on her quest and to go searching for her lost talent that was stolen by her love,   using her singing powers wisely to go through the obstacles.

Characters:

Ophelia:

Age: 42 years old
Gender: Female
Personality and Biography: Ophelia is a woman who did not marry in her youth because she never loved. Her parents were very religious and she was brought up to be a priestess. She is living now in her temple which is built in a forest near a small town. She is well-known for her beautiful singing that has the ability to heal, spread love and happiness and attract the creatures of nature. She consumed her beautiful voice from a magical music box.

Felicia:

Age: 50 years old
Gender: Female
Personality and Biography: Felicia used to be a good friend of Ophelia although she was a little more older. She was always known for her wisdom and her ability to solve problems and troubles. She has good magical skills and the powerful resources for magical problems.

Zack:

Age: 25 years old
Gender: Male
Personality and Biography: Zack is a sorcerer who is very talented in using the skills of black magic. He has grown up in a wild, hard environment and has been always envious and an owner of a black heart. When Ophelia found him injured one night in the forest and fell in love with him, he was evil enough to use her love and heart for his own comfort. But jealous of how everyone focused their eyes on her, he stole her music box and left her.

Team Members:

Zackwell: He will be spriting and drawing the custom anime graphics for the game.

moog: He will be composing the original soundtrack for the game.

Luv: She (or I lol) will be eventing, mapping, doing minor spriting and taking care of the project's whole.

Raxus

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Re: Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2009, 04:21:52 PM »
Sounds interesting! I'd love to play it and see how it goes. :vikonsmile:

Wabbit

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Re: Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2009, 06:11:50 AM »
Commenting on originality, huh?

 Well, I've never played a game or read a story where the protagonist is a 42 year old priestess/singer. I like the plot, it's intriguing, although I don't really get the concept of those singing boxes. Are they boxes which give you a voice? Or do they magnify voices and/or give them powers?

 I guess Ophelia is a mage rather than a mere priestess, since she could gather animals, heal the wounded, and help the flowers bloom quickly. Sounds familiar, but this could be overlooked as those are usually the powers of female protagonists in a game/story.

 It sounds quite original, so don't worry about it. The only thing bothering me now is how different Ophelia and Felicia are. Ophelia looks her age, but Felicia looks in her sixties, seventies, or maybe even in the eighties, so you might want to change the way she looks.

 I'd like to see more of this, and I hope you release a demo soon, because I'll be looking forward to playing it. Good luck Luv! :)

--- Edit ---

What I meant by Felicia not looking what her age implies can be explained by the following:

- Before -

 

- After -

 


I edited the face from the old character set, and added a new body. You can see now that she looks younger, but keeps the same hairstyle and eyes (The pink placed under them is to make her face more lively). I think this makes her look like she's fifty years old, like you stated in the description, but not really ancient.

Well, I hope this inspires you and encourages you to do more, Luv.  :seraismile:
« Last Edit: December 01, 2009, 06:46:45 AM by Wabbit »
Yay for support bars! =D



Legacyblade

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Re: Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]
« Reply #3 on: December 01, 2009, 01:44:35 PM »
Zack reminds me of Nethera in how he looks (his color scheme). Anyways, what battle system are you going to make this on? If you'd like, I could join the team and integrate an ABS.

Miss Nile

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Re: Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]
« Reply #4 on: December 01, 2009, 01:46:58 PM »
@Wabbit: Thanks for your comments! I'll look thoroughly in each of them. ^^

@legacy: I was thinking of ABS, too, so if you'd like to help us with it, it would be greatly appreciated. <3

Legacyblade

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Re: Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]
« Reply #5 on: December 01, 2009, 02:06:41 PM »
I would LOVE to help you with it. A game that uses a conventional magic system would be a huge break from working on Darkness Rebirth, and it would be really fun :D I know blizzABS inside and out, so I'll be able to help a lot. PM me with team related info, if you still want my help (we do have a team website, or something, right? If now, how are we collaborating?)

Miss Nile

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Re: Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]
« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2009, 01:22:28 AM »
@legacy: I really appreciate it, thanks! :seraismile: I was planning on using an ABS though I had no one to help me with it so if you'd like to join, that would be great and it would be really fun to have you in the team. ^^ You can go ahead and visit www.winterivy.net <--- that's the company's website.


Now I have some cookies to share~! Screenshots!
Spoiler: show


Spoiler: show

Spoiler: show

Spoiler: show


mepwnn

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Re: Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]
« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2009, 01:30:20 AM »
As usual, I love your maps. A personal preference, but I never liked the water autotile in your last screenshot. Just a preference, though ^_^
Portals... must capture... ALL the portals... (click image to enlarge)

Wabbit

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Re: Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]
« Reply #8 on: December 11, 2009, 03:00:23 AM »
Those cookies look sweet Luv.  :)

I like all of those screenies, and I've left all my comments and opinions about them here, since you might find them useful.  ;)

Spoiler: Title Screen • show


Personally, I like the way you tinted the screen and made the title and the 'stone' musical notes pop up a bit, but I dislike how "New Melody (New Game), Continue Music (Continue Game), and Quit Melody (Quit)" sounds like, and I think alliteration would suit the theme in a better way.

E.g:

Instead of saying 'New Melody' for the start of a new game, you can have it say 'Myriad Melodies', where 'Myriad' (the meaning here would be 'many') would give the impression that there are numerous plots/sub-plots.

Having it say 'Continue Music/Game' sounds bland, and as I said before, using alliteration here would suit the game's theme, so if you use 'Interrupted Instrumentals' then it would sound fluent and have the same meaning as 'Continue Music'.

Following the 'musical' theme of the story, having it say 'Lyrical Leave' sounds more emphatic/forceful than having it say 'Quit Melody'.

You don't really have to follow with what I said here, as the game still would be a good one.  :seraismile:



Spoiler: Screen I • show


Your mapping looks good here, but I can't really judge properly because there are no colors here. Saturating it a lot makes it look bad, so maybe you can make it a bit more colorful, yet keeping the feeling that it's still a flashback.

I suggest you increase the vegetation here (e.g. Increasing the flowers and using the grass shadow autotile would work) so that it looks natural, as even plants tend to grow everywhere. Animals would help make the scene look more realistic, so place more squirrels, rabbits, critters, and butterflies to make it an interesting map.



Spoiler: Screen II • show


I like how the church looks like a quaint place in the middle of woods in this map, but the same comments in the previous spoiler imply on this one. You have to have more vegetation, use the grass shadow autotile, and work on more animals to make this map look more worthy of note.

I think Karine's sprite bugs me. If I'm guessing right, then she's a nun/nurse, right? I don't know why she'd be wearing that revealing outfit if my suspicions are in their place.  ???

Overall, this map looks good. You're doing a great job Luv!



Spoiler: Screen III • show


Frankly, this looks nothing like a church's interior, it looks more like what you would see in a mansion or castle. It's too vibrant too, and the walls clash with the flooring and the pink rug. I'm with shinokishi on the pool, doesn't fit right there. Also, for nursing rooms, that furniture looks too exquisite.

I hate those nun/nurse uniforms, they look more like dancers. :P



That was the end of it, and I hope you find some of what I had written useful. :seraismile:
Yay for support bars! =D



Miss Nile

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Re: Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]
« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2009, 05:16:57 AM »
Thanks for the feedback, Wabbit. Let me reply accordingly to each one, please. :)

Spoiler: Title Screen • show


Ahh those are pretty cool names! I might actually use them better since they sound much more 'magical' and 'musical' than the others I chose. Thanks for the suggestions. :vikonsmile: Much appreciated!



Spoiler:  Screen 1 • show


I get what you mean, will work on it. For the vegetation and animals, I was going to add animals but someone who is really good at mapping told me not to overdo it with the vegetation as to not make the map look busy and cluttered.



Spoiler:  Screen 2 • show


You mean Sharine not Karine. And she is not exactly a nun. She is a priestess like Ophelia but she comes from a specific town that has such clothes around as their traditional outfits. It soon became the official clothes for the priestesses there.

I see nothing wrong with that, and I don't see they look like dancers. Any reason why you "hate" them then?



Spoiler:  Screen 3 • show


I see what you mean. Will look onto that and might reform the map.


Thanks for your feedback. <3

Wabbit

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Re: Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]
« Reply #10 on: December 11, 2009, 05:34:49 AM »
You're welcome Luv, I'm glad you actually found them useful. :seraismile:

As for this,

I see nothing wrong with that, and I don't see they look like dancers. Any reason why you "hate" them then?

I find them too revealing, I understand that Sharine must have come from some place with a really hot climate, but aren't priestesses supposed to be wearing long robes while a headdress (similar to what Ophelia wears)?

Oh, and I don't really hate them, I just dislike their dress code. :P


Yay for support bars! =D



Miss Nile

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Re: Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]
« Reply #11 on: December 11, 2009, 08:49:50 AM »
I never thought priestesses has to wear something special. After all, a priestess is just a human who lives away from the lights of world (as far as I know) and they don't have to wear something specific. I know that most of time, they wear long robes and all but it's not a requirement.

Wabbit

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Re: Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]
« Reply #12 on: December 11, 2009, 09:39:43 AM »
I never thought priestesses has to wear something special. After all, a priestess is just a human who lives away from the lights of world (as far as I know) and they don't have to wear something specific. I know that most of time, they wear long robes and all but it's not a requirement.


Priests and priestesses work and reside at a church, but they're not people who live away from the world Luv.

Wikipedia shows the priesthood dress code here. It clearly states that they usually wear long robes or skirts (which all of your characters do), but they rarely wear revealing clothes, especially females (male Hindu priests may occasionally be shirtless, but that's not the point now).

It's a fictional game, so you can make them wear anything you want, but I find I rather dislike the idea of their clothing. It's a pretty good game after all, and it deserves to have content that doesn't offend anyone.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2009, 09:42:12 AM by Wabbit »
Yay for support bars! =D



Miss Nile

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Re: Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]
« Reply #13 on: December 11, 2009, 10:26:33 AM »
I see what you mean now, and will change the outfits then. You're right that it might offend someone, so I will work on it. If someone has some feedback on this, feel free to provide.

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Re: Love's Evil Melodies [Concept Thread]
« Reply #14 on: December 11, 2009, 10:44:29 AM »
Sounds exciting. Hope you'll be releasing a demo soon! :)