Author Topic: Abi is getting emo about college...  (Read 2609 times)

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abigailian

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Abi is getting emo about college...
« on: July 27, 2009, 10:58:00 AM »
I think it's because I had a pretty significant 'last' yesterday. It was my last time at church before I go on vacation, and I won't be able to go back before I'm off at college. Today is my last day at work. I don't like these lasts, especially cause I feel like I've muffed everything up with the people at church. :(
This might hurt, it's not safe / But I know that I've gotta make a change / I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something


Amaranth

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Re: Abi is getting emo about college...
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2009, 11:25:54 AM »
Oh, dear . . . I hope you feel better soon. I remember going through a rough patch like this last summer before I started college, and I'm going through another one now because I have to finish catching up with schoolwork and my tuition went up and my parents hate me and AAGH! :angry:

Sorry. Lost control for a moment there. But no matter how difficult things may seem right now, everything'll come out in the wash, Abi. I promise. :reivsmile:
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Re: Abi is getting emo about college...
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2009, 11:28:56 AM »
"Won't be able to go back before I'm off at college" as in you'll be able to go to church while in college too, instead of after college is finished right? Leaving is pretty tough on any occasion, but I found that usually it's the thinking about it beforehand that's the most uncomfortable - when it actually happens, there're a lot of distractions that keeps you from keep on being sentimental about it. Hope ya cope well with it!

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Re: Abi is getting emo about college...
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2009, 11:34:41 AM »
All I can say is that you can always go and give them a visit. I dearly hope that you would be able to overcome this. Think what would be your top priority. ^^

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Re: Abi is getting emo about college...
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2009, 12:21:33 PM »
Dont worry, you will suceed!

(Besides, we are always here by your side!)

abigailian

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Re: Abi is getting emo about college...
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2009, 03:55:19 PM »
I guess it's just kind of bittersweet, heavy on the bitter. I'm happy to be going away, and I'm not going that far anyway, so it really isn't so bad. But the fact is, that things are going to change, and even if it's for the better, it still makes me sad. Plus, no one seems to care. If it weren't for vacation, I'm sure there'd have been more good-bying, but I don't think anyone realized that yesterday was their last chance to see me for a while. (And if I'd told them, I'm sure I would have burst into tears... I was in a weird mood all day yesterday. ;) )

Then last week at youth group, everyone went out afterwards to hang out, but I couldn't go. I was hoping for a chance to do that last night, but everyone was going to some all-night get-together I hadn't been invited to, and the only people who could do anything with me afterwards were my sisters and this one guy who likes my sister. Not really a great farewell party. :'( So we just went home. And my stupid sisters didn't even TRY to make me feel better. :<

And is it just me, or does 18 seem REALLY young? I feel so unprepared to be out on my own. :/ And I'm nervous, because I just realized being two years ahead might cause problems I hadn't anticipated.
This might hurt, it's not safe / But I know that I've gotta make a change / I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something


Amaranth

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Re: Abi is getting emo about college...
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2009, 04:11:02 PM »
*hugs*

Big transitions are always a little nerve-wracking . . . change can be frightening. But you can use this time to consider where you've been and where you're going. You've got your whole life ahead of you, and if you keep working hard with a smile on your face, I know you'll do great things. :)

Eighteen IS young. I'm going to be twenty in a few months, and I still can't believe it. I feel so old, and yet I'm not . . .
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Re: Abi is getting emo about college...
« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2009, 08:33:47 PM »
I don't see why you're getting so worked up about the whole thing. It's not like you can never go back home, you can visit and stuff. And I didn't even HAVE a farewell party, my parents decided 10 minutes before hand that I was leaving 3 weeks early so they could go on a vacation, so up I went, XD Don't worry, things will be fine at the school, and you can have fun making new friends. Collage isn't the end of a chapter, or the beginning of a new one, it's simply a continuation of life. You're not going to have a musical montoge at the end of the movie and see the credits roling, you're just going to BE at collage. Then when its time to go home for a holiday, you'll just BE at home. meh, I guess I'm not just sentimental about such things :P

Amaranth

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Re: Abi is getting emo about college...
« Reply #8 on: July 27, 2009, 08:39:00 PM »
It's not like she wants to be upset. You might be able to handle situations like this without any problems, but that doesn't mean everyone can. Give Abi a break. 
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Legacyblade

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Re: Abi is getting emo about college...
« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2009, 08:50:00 PM »
Oh, wasn't trying to be harsh. That was my way of saying "It'll be alright, things will be awesome once you get to collage. You'll be able to see your home town again, so just because you didn't get one last day doesn't mean you won't be able to see everyone again" or something like that.

abigailian

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Re: Abi is getting emo about college...
« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2009, 09:55:02 PM »
I think I sort of alluded to this in my first post, but a lot of it has to do with the way in general I feel about my 'friends.' I've done a sucky job at actually spending time with them, and they've done a sucky job showing they're even aware I'm on the planet. If I were really close with any of them, it'd be one thing, but I really doubt we'll be getting any closer with me going away, so it kinda feels like the people I love best I've officially failed, with no chance to redeem myself. Is that entirely true, no, I suppose I could put some extra effort in to keep in contact and get closer to them, but if I didn't do it the past couple years when it was convenient, I sincerely doubt I'll do it now.

And yeah, I really don't understand why I seem to be the only one freaking out like this. And I'm not like depressed or anything, just pensive and slightly on-the-verge-of-crying.
This might hurt, it's not safe / But I know that I've gotta make a change / I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something


Legacyblade

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Re: Abi is getting emo about college...
« Reply #11 on: July 27, 2009, 10:04:29 PM »
I don't know if you should think of it as a failure. I guess things with your friends just didn't work out. You can think of it as less reason to look back after you go to collage. You're bound to make a bunch of friends, and you'll have a chance to make things better with these friends than they are currently with your past friends. That's the best part about collage, you can be a totally new person if you want. Just what I think anyways.

abigailian

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Re: Abi is getting emo about college...
« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2009, 10:26:02 PM »
Yeah, I am excited about new friends, and I'm also excited about the chance to figure out who I actually am, instead of being what I'm expected to be and used to being, but I'm still sad about my other friends. It's like things just 'not working out' with your own family, I've known them almost as long and like them just as much. And I know if I'd ever given them an idea of how left out I felt, they'd feel really bad, but I don't want them to feel bad either. Bleh, it's just weird. I don't like new situations. Another year of community college isn't looking so bad right now.  :kardiansmile: But I'd still feel lonely.
This might hurt, it's not safe / But I know that I've gotta make a change / I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something


Leeor

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Re: Abi is getting emo about college...
« Reply #13 on: July 28, 2009, 04:33:30 AM »
Dont worry, a sweet gal like you will get some great friends!

Just Lance

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Re: Abi is getting emo about college...
« Reply #14 on: July 28, 2009, 07:40:11 AM »
I hope it will get better soon. I know that feeling :(
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