Author Topic: A good place to burn time: fmylife  (Read 7503 times)

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Reives

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A good place to burn time: fmylife
« on: March 30, 2009, 08:02:35 PM »
My new favourite place for some internet entertainment:

http://www.fmylife.com/

Post memorable ones here! c:

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Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML


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Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML


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Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

zekallinos

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Re: A good place to burn time: fmylife
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2009, 08:25:51 PM »
Oh, interesting, a few months ago my friend showed me that same site, french version.

Some weird Quebec humor.

Although I usually pass time finding random internet content, learning stuff sometimes or getting a laugh.

Forgotten_Bard

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Re: A good place to burn time: fmylife
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2009, 11:23:08 PM »
A little late Reives, I found this site a week or two ago.... god these are hillarious
A letter, a word
...
A sentence, a paragraph
...
A page, a story
...
A book, a novel.
...
They all mean so little when you can't take time to put your soul into the work.

Stardale

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Re: A good place to burn time: fmylife
« Reply #3 on: March 31, 2009, 05:17:33 AM »
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Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML

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Today, I went to a friend's wedding. I took stupid photos all day long and when came the moment that the bride entered the church, my battery died. FML

And those are things that really happened to me from the last two weeks. T_T

Leeor

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Re: A good place to burn time: fmylife
« Reply #4 on: March 31, 2009, 10:20:32 AM »
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Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

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Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

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Today, I was walking along the street and passed a young couple. Over my shoulder I heard the girl say to her boyfriend "Would you still love me if I looked like her?" FML
Spoiler: show
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Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML


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Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

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Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

 
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Today, to remind myself to write a check for my speech and debate team (Lynbrook Speech and Debate), I wrote "LSD money" on the back of my hand. The Vice Principal saw it, dragged me to the office, and called my parents. FML



Reives

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Re: A good place to burn time: fmylife
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2009, 11:06:06 PM »
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Today, my boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, told me all the things he loved about me, got down on one knee and pulled out the little blue box I had been hoping for, for so long. He opened the box and there was a note inside that said, "April Fools!" FML

abigailian

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Re: A good place to burn time: fmylife
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2009, 11:22:56 PM »
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Today, my boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, told me all the things he loved about me, got down on one knee and pulled out the little blue box I had been hoping for, for so long. He opened the box and there was a note inside that said, "April Fools!" FML

If that were me, he would soon be incapable of having children!

(Just sayin...)
This might hurt, it's not safe / But I know that I've gotta make a change / I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something


Reives

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Re: A good place to burn time: fmylife
« Reply #7 on: April 02, 2009, 12:22:58 AM »
What if he then pulled out the real box with a ring and said "Aprils Fools on the April Fools!"?

abigailian

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Re: A good place to burn time: fmylife
« Reply #8 on: April 02, 2009, 03:09:42 AM »
Then there would be lotsa children!   :seraismile:
This might hurt, it's not safe / But I know that I've gotta make a change / I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something


Stardale

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Re: A good place to burn time: fmylife
« Reply #9 on: April 02, 2009, 03:46:12 AM »
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Today, a 7 year old girl randomly came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML

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Today, my elderly neighbor made puppy-eyes at me so I'd lug her seven carrier bags full of groceries up three flights of stairs. Afterwards, very grateful, she takes out her purse, hands me a coin, and tells me that maybe this way I could afford to "get a better haircut next time". FML

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Today, my refrigerator defrosted... itself. FML

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Today, I went to bed at 2 in the morning. At 6 the telephone rang waking me up. It was a wrong number. FML
^damn the one who called me this morning.
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Today we got second place on a soccer/football tournament.... isn't that soooo cool? There were only two teams. FML

Ruben

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Re: A good place to burn time: fmylife
« Reply #10 on: April 02, 2009, 09:49:26 AM »
Then there would be lotsa children!   :seraismile:

And if he said "This is not for you, I bought it for my real girlfriend." ?  ;)

Stardale

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Re: A good place to burn time: fmylife
« Reply #11 on: April 02, 2009, 10:30:54 AM »
Then there would be lotsa children!   :seraismile:

And if he said "This is not for you, I bought it for my real girlfriend." ?  ;)

Ouch. That would ought to shaken things up between the two sides quite a bit.

abigailian

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Re: A good place to burn time: fmylife
« Reply #12 on: April 02, 2009, 10:39:41 AM »
Then there would be lotsa children!   :seraismile:

And if he said "This is not for you, I bought it for my real girlfriend." ?  ;)

'Kay if he's THAT big of an idiot, I wouldn't be dating him to begin with!
This might hurt, it's not safe / But I know that I've gotta make a change / I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something


Forgotten_Bard

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Re: A good place to burn time: fmylife
« Reply #13 on: April 03, 2009, 02:14:48 AM »
you dated Sizzle didn't you?
A letter, a word
...
A sentence, a paragraph
...
A page, a story
...
A book, a novel.
...
They all mean so little when you can't take time to put your soul into the work.

abigailian

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Re: A good place to burn time: fmylife
« Reply #14 on: April 03, 2009, 01:49:02 PM »
you dated Sizzle didn't you?

No, I married him. Big difference.
This might hurt, it's not safe / But I know that I've gotta make a change / I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something