Author Topic: My own book about To The Moon (Fanfiction) - Looking for a partner  (Read 4616 times)

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OrangeClosetLight

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Hey guys ;)

After finishing this brilliant game I decided to write my own fanfiction based on To The Moon. My plan is to write a whole story from start to finish and I am planning to have as much pages as a regular book....err... well maybe a small one - we will see :D

1. It's about a complete new patience in a complete different scenario/setting. It will be similar structured as the game. Only the beginning and ending will be longer. Of course the main characters are still Eva and Neil. And I will try my best to recreat the unique athmosphere and humor.

2. I want to fill in the blanks. How is the machine that is shown in the game actually working ? What is the story behind Sigmund Corp. or behind Eva and Neil ? What are their co-workers like. Things like that.

After seeing this awesome artwork...
http://images.akamai.steamusercontent.com/ugc/716413856112299206/D19EA855D85AD8CBE276D2750DCA36187CAD6DEE/

...I thought that it would be nice to work together with someone who can add illustrations and artwork to the story because I am not able to do that myself. Oh and I think it also would be fun to work together with someone on this. I would highly appreciate it if someone would be keen to do that. Just keep in mind that this will be a massive project over several month. If someone is interested I could talk to them about the first chapter (which is done by now) and tell him/her about the story of my book which is already roughly mapped out.

All the best (and thanks to Kan „Reives“ Gao for creating this world)

-Christian Stretz aka OrangeClosetLight
« Last Edit: January 08, 2016, 05:32:38 PM by OrangeClosetLight »

Dragon Mage

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Re: My own book about To The Moon (Fanfiction) - Looking for a partner
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2016, 05:44:23 PM »
Welcome to the forums, Christian :) Now about your story, if you need to know more about the co-workers and such, you can play the two minisodes (they take place after TtM at Neil and Eva's workplace and are free to play).

Also, the machine is quite complex. They explain it in TtM a couple times. If you talked to Lily before going into John's memories, she asks about it. Also there are some threads on here that talk more about it.

Lastly, I would change the names of the doctors to prevent copyright and debates of ownership. Unless you ask Reives himself for permission and include something in your book about where they are originally from.

I hope this helped. Also, good luck on your story and can't wait to read it one day :gothat!:

OrangeClosetLight

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Re: My own book about To The Moon (Fanfiction) - Looking for a partner
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2016, 05:53:15 PM »
Hey Dragon Mage. Thank you so much for the warm welcome.

I think I wasn't clear enough on that. I want to give details on how EXACTLY the machine is working and is implanting thoughts on patience. I want to give backstories on characters like Dr. Willis McMillan and don't worry I think I know To the Moon and the 2 Minisodes pretty much by heart now.

At the end of the day this is just a fanfiction. Full credit is going to Kan Gao. It is just aimed to be as long as a whole book. But of course there would never be any "official" release. This will be completly free and for the fans of to the moon only. Do you still think I should ask Kan Gao for permission - this wouldn't be a problem of course.

But I think one of the major reasons To the Moon was so good is because of the relationship between Neil and Eva. So I really want to keep them in there.

I could also send you the first chapter - this should make in clear what I am aiming for ;)
« Last Edit: January 08, 2016, 06:11:24 PM by OrangeClosetLight »

Sun

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Re: My own book about To The Moon (Fanfiction) - Looking for a partner
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2016, 06:50:01 PM »
Hi Chris! Ambitious project you got there.
The best way of getting Reives' permission might be to PM him here under his forum nickname. But be prepared for some waiting time, and be ready to send another one - he seems to be a very busy man (and understandably so) :)
Best of luck!

(Edited to add: You German? That name does sound German for sure ...)
« Last Edit: January 08, 2016, 07:02:08 PM by Sun »

OrangeClosetLight

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Re: My own book about To The Moon (Fanfiction) - Looking for a partner
« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2016, 07:07:57 PM »
Alright - Thanks Sun.

I figured it would be the best if I would give you a little insight in which direction my fan fiction will head.

But be prepared this still is extremly "work in progress". Oh and by the way english isn't my first language. So there might be still couple grammar mistakes and things like that. My brother is living in the UK and he will check the whole book before I will post it here - that's a promise ;)

Here we go (the other chapters will be much longer - this one just serves as an introduction to the story). It would be so much appreciated if you guys would give me some feedback on this one:

Spoiler: show
Chapter 1: Partners, Pals and Pianos

The rain outside seemed to drum a steady beat on the windows of the lonely house near the ocean while the wind was trying to creep through one of the many cracks. The only thing that kept it company was a nice little lighthouse painted in red and white that was still using an old gas lamp. Judging from the heavy dust layers on the furniture inside someone who wouldn't knew it better would have believed that this house wasn’t inhabited for many years. But if you would listen closely you could hear two old friends having an argument downstairs:

„Neil I told you. There is now way this is going to work. Even Alistair wouldn’t fit through this door after being on a diet for several months.” The black haired woman wore a long perfectly white robe only interrupted with golden fringes. Dr. Eva Rosalene was quite tall for a woman and had a cunning, intelligent face. She looked at her partner like she couldn’t decide whether she should be amused or annoyed by yet another of his infantile ideas while constantly switching between those two.
“Please Eva just for one moment – get rid of your realistic mindset. If there is one thing that we don’t need right now, then it is common sense. Or did you ever thought we would try to push a whole grand piano through the door of a tardis ?”. “Oh I forgot a long time ago how many times I thought ‘that must be it – this has to be his most stupid idea’ … proved me wrong every time since”.
Even that snappish comment couldn’t stop Dr. Neil Watts from keeping on. As much as Eva got used to his immature behavior from time to time he got used to her constant banter. He even liked it … kinda. In many ways they were just a perfect team.
“Well there is only one option left I guess. Because there is just no other way to bring that black beauty upstairs…” said Neil with a grin on his face while adjusting his heavy glasses that slid all the way down his nose and running his other hand through his thick brown hair: “…I guess we just have to make the doorway bigger”. “Neil… please don’t break anything” sighed Eva. “KAAAAME…” – “I knew it…” – “HAAAAME…” – “What did I do wrong in life to deserve such a...” – “HAaa…”

-BEPEPEPEEEP….. BEPEPEPEEEP….. BEPEPE…-


The moment Neil said the last syllable a constant ringing pulled him extremely fast on an invisible rope out of his dream back on his very own bed. “God dammit”, he cried out loud while hammering on his alarm clock. Looking at the wooden ceiling as the first sun shines reached his room he was whispering to himself: “I can’t stand this woman. How many times do I have to tell her that you don’t stop a man during his ‘Kamehameha’”. But he shook that thought of his mind before an imaginary Eva could appear and play a joke on him about still behaving like a boy.

Some parts of his house would have likely agreed with her though. You could find minimal retro posters of all of his favorite shows in the hallway, video game consoles and even a gigantic autographed millennium falcon near the ktichen that took him days to piece together. He was proud of his excellent taste and completely confused how after his countless tries to introduce his friends and family to all of his hobbies they would still insist on their believe that he should see a specialist as soon as possible.

Neil Watts and Eva Rosalene are two of fourteen employees working at a company called “Sigmund Corp.”. Thirty-seven years ago based on the idea that the human brain is nothing more than a network of neurons a neuroscientist called Dr. Willis McMillan stated the thesis that if it would be possible to log into said network and control those neurons and combine them at will, almost like power cables plugged into multiple sockets, it should be possible to bring them in any wanted combination. In simpler words: Creating a particular thought or even a whole new life is closer to reality than everybody thought by the time.

Of course Mr. McMillan raised nothing but laughter and disbelieve from his colleagues especially after it turned out that the human brain is way more twisted and turned than he ever thought of. Erasing an important thought from it will lead to its adjustment automatically. The new facts, the original memories and the persons imagination will merge together to overcome that sudden loss of neurons. It also turned out that this process is completely irreversible. But even backlashes like this couldn’t stop Dr. McMillan from holding onto his dream. He was supported by his wife Dr. Taima McMillan who was head of department in one of the biggest electronic companies in the country and together they were able to create a method to generate an extremely detailed image of a human brain. The idea was to trigger a desired outcome within this copy and implant it in the original brains nerve tract afterwards.
Especially fueled by the promise he made himself at the deathbed of his father he was able to overcome every single challenge on their way. By seeing how full of regret his old man locked back on his life he silently said to himself that no matter what it takes he will find a way that would make it possible for everyone to leave this life with one last beautiful thought on their minds and find something like closure on their last breath’s.

Nineteen years after the life’s work of this married couple turned into “Sigmund Corp.” Neil was still lying in bed as dark thoughts crossed his mind: The house by the ocean he was dreaming of wasn’t a random one nor was the red and white lighthouse. Actually it was called Anya and the house used to belong to their patient Johnny Wyles and his wife River who suffered all her life from Asperger-Syndrom.

It was the next to last big job before the Christmas holidays could come around. And while their final patient in the old year wasn’t that big of a deal (Ms. Cratchit just wanted to see her eleven deceased cats one more time – peanuts for experts like Neil and Eva) Neil had a foreboding that he wouldn’t be able to shake of the depressing thoughts about Johnny and River that easily like the calendar did a couple of days ago and start all over again with a complete new blank white sheet.
Up to this day Neil always thought that he would just provide some kind of service. Go to work – save the day – go to sleep – repeat. Easy as 1,2,3. Simple as that. But he couldn’t have been more wrong. In fact Neil believed that he never missed the point of it all that much in his life before. It was like getting a joke so late that he would feel miserable laughing about it.
Seeing the dark and troubled past of the Wyles family and experiencing in a shocking way for the very first time that just the tiniest turn on the wheels of life could cause whole marriages to disappear felt scary beyond believe to him. After he finished university and started working at Sigmund Corp. his plan was simply to bring a smile on his patience faces and not to play god. An echo from deep inside told him that he hasn’t seen it all in his job yet. He wondered how Eva is able to get over these stories without any scratches. But on the flipside – how would he know? They rarely talk about stuff like that. “I am a complete idiot. The first thing after dreaming about work is thinking about it. If I don’t take care of myself I will turn into a workaholic like her and if there is one thing that is safe in my life than it is that we certainly don’t need two of her kind” and with these words he disappeared in the shower.


« Last Edit: January 08, 2016, 07:52:20 PM by OrangeClosetLight »

Sun

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Re: My own book about To The Moon (Fanfiction) - Looking for a partner
« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2016, 08:18:47 PM »
Feedback, you say. Alright.
You really want to check the text's spelling and grammar. Good thing you have a proofreader for that already.
As for the rest, I don't really know what to tell you. Um, it could flow a little better - guessing you'll rework it still?

OrangeClosetLight

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Re: My own book about To The Moon (Fanfiction) - Looking for a partner
« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2016, 08:23:41 PM »
Thanks :)

Yeah still work in progress. I just wanted to give you guys an idea in which direction the story will head to and about which topics I want to write about.

And yes I am from Germany.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2016, 09:00:42 PM by OrangeClosetLight »

Sun

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Re: My own book about To The Moon (Fanfiction) - Looking for a partner
« Reply #7 on: January 09, 2016, 04:53:53 AM »
(Wie hab' ich das nur gewusst! ;))

Thunderbird

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Re: My own book about To The Moon (Fanfiction) - Looking for a partner
« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2016, 05:03:16 AM »
At the end of the day this is just a fanfiction. Full credit is going to Kan Gao. It is just aimed to be as long as a whole book. But of course there would never be any "official" release. This will be completly free and for the fans of to the moon only. Do you still think I should ask Kan Gao for permission - this wouldn't be a problem of course.

I don't think there is a need to ask for permission for a free fanfic.
Even if you are nothing more than a drop in a bucket...
Every drop leaves ripples.

Sun

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Re: My own book about To The Moon (Fanfiction) - Looking for a partner
« Reply #9 on: January 14, 2016, 06:25:18 AM »
At the end of the day this is just a fanfiction. Full credit is going to Kan Gao. It is just aimed to be as long as a whole book. But of course there would never be any "official" release. This will be completly free and for the fans of to the moon only. Do you still think I should ask Kan Gao for permission - this wouldn't be a problem of course.

I don't think there is a need to ask for permission for a free fanfic.
To my knowledge, fanfic breaches copyright. It's just that normally, you don't want your most devoted fans to hate you, so copyright holders turn a blind eye to it.

I also once read an interesting note on this by the author of a web comic I follow, Lackadaisy. She's very slow on writing new pages and said she's afraid that people might anticipate parts of the plot she had intended on writing. In that case, it would look as if she had copied from the fanfic writers. I'm not sure whether a fanfic writer could then sue for theft of "their" idea, but maybe it's possible. It sure would bug me if I had to be afraid where to take my own franchise because someone somewhere might have written this scenario already.
« Last Edit: January 14, 2016, 06:26:56 AM by Sun »

OrangeClosetLight

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Re: My own book about To The Moon (Fanfiction) - Looking for a partner
« Reply #10 on: January 14, 2016, 12:57:40 PM »
Kan texted me the other day saying that he doesn't have a problem with me writing this fan fiction per se.

Anyway, I definitly won't write about plotpoints which are not revealed yet like Neil's illness. There are little references about To The Moon and Willis McMillan will play a way more important role in my story.

But besides that it will be a complete different story about a new patient. I really don't want to touch anything important which could be revealed by Kan in the coming episodes.