Story Collection

[Vasha]

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It's a curse; I've been cursed. Every sound I hear echos through my head like thundering war drums. Every pen click and ever step and every whisper thrashes at my ear like a boom and a shot and a bang scream yell shout scream make it stop. I feel myself fall into the noise and the screaming and the scraping and the make it stop and the grating and the crashing and the oh please make it stop. All I hear is chatter bang CHATTER BANG MAKE IT STOP and I can't take it anymore. It drowns out every part of me until I can feel it chatter bang shout scream inside of me and I moan chatter and I try to plug my ears chatter bang but I still hear it chatter bang scream shot shout BANG and I can't get away from it and all I hear is BANG and SCREAM and SHOUT and every thought is CHATTER and CRASH and BANG and make it stop oh please make it stop. But it doesn't stop, it won't stop, and all I hear is banging and banging again and soon everything I hear is bang bang BANG BANG SHOUT SCREAM YELL BANG MAKE IT STOP but it just keeps BANGing and I'm yelling MAKE IT STOP but nobody can hear me because nobody's there and they're all just BANGs and SHOUTs and SCREAMs and MAKE IT STOP.

And then I surrender to the noise (and bang) and it swallows me up (and bang) and I can stop it (bang), I can make it stop (bang bang bang) and

BANG

And it stops.

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The smile in the dark.

And the man is just standing there, smiling a smile that could melt iron, and he watches as a hand moves toward the ground.

The glint of the knife.

The hand picks something up off the ground (and it's a knife) and the knife smiles at the hand  (but it's a knife) with teeth as red as blood and black as night and the hand clenches on the knife (it's a knife) and light glints off the blade and into the eyes of the hand (but it's a boy) and it's as if the knife is staring right into his eyes (but it's a knife?)

The ravenous scream.

And the hand runs forwards (but it's a boy) and the knife is ready to take a bite (red and black and red and black) and the man smiles (melting iron) and dodges and the boy tries to stop but he can't stop (and red and black and red).

The tearing of flesh.

And there's a girl there with a  knife (red and black and red) in her stomach and the boy (killer) is shocked (killer killer) and the man smiles (a snarling wolf) and the boy (killer you killed her) looks at him and the girl is dying (red and black and red and black) and bleeding (and red) and she falls down and (killer) the boy (you killed her) can't save her.

The smile in the dark.

And the man just stands (snarling wolf) and smiles (melting iron) and the boy falls to his knee (killer) and he killed her (killer) and he's just like him (snarling wolf) and the man just smiles (melting iron).

And another wolf is added to the flock.

So, yeah, just some experimental writing I did with Stream-of-consciousness writings today. the second one probably will not make sense to anyone unless they know one of my chraracters who currently has no plot yet, but yeah. thoughts?

is it sad that i was actually feeling like the first one today while trying to take an APUSH test? (which i probably totally failed -.-)

so i was going to do something different for the second one, but decided to do this instead cuz my first idea wouldn't work.

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I can't breathe.

My throat is tight and I'm clutching at my throat and I can't breathe and it hurts and oh goodness I can't breathe. I'm gasping and I can't get a breath and I'm wheezing and it hurts it hurts so much someone please help me I can't breathe and suddenly I'm on the floor and I'm wheezing and somebody help me and I'm coughing and wheezing and it hurts it hurts it hurts so much I'm going to die (am I going to die?) and I don't want to die (am I going to die?) and oh please somebody help me.

I don't want to die.

Somebody help me.

Just breathe.

So yeah, I wrote that last one while/right after my English teacher had an asthma attack during class

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I never liked being small. I could never stand the thought of it. So I always strove to be big - big dreams, big achievements, big relationships, big pride, big breakups. Every day I would grab for this or grab for that until I didn't really know who or what I was anymore. Was I a circle? An ellipse? A man? A boy? Or was I just some sort of amorphous blob of stuff?

But then I met you. You were so small, just a dot the horizon to me. But there was something about you that intrigued me, that made me want to make a line right for you. I think it was because you always knew who you were. You were small, you were shy, you were just a period on the page of life, but you knew it, and you were okay with it.

You were special. You were a confident little speck and I was an uncertain glob of conflicting things. And best of all was that I could never take you in. No matter how hard I tried, you were you and I was me. Because, if I had gotten you in my grasp, you would have ceased to be you, wouldn't you? You wouldn't be have been your own little dot, you would have been my dot, just a dot on a circle, the same as all the other equidistant dots around me.

And by looking at you, I learned something about myself; I took my first step towards learning who I actually was. Everything about me was attracted to everything about you, like metal to a magnet, but the closer I got to you, the further you pushed me away, like metal to the wrong side of a magnet. Maybe you were scared of how big I was, maybe I had really taken in a magnet and was physically repelling you, but whatever it was, I realized I couldn't be with you the way I was. I couldn't stay a circle - I couldn't even become a triangle - I had to become a dot like you.

That thought terrified me. I had spent my whole life growing, and to let it all go felt like I was losing my identity, if I had one - like I was losing myself. But I did it; I did it because you were worth it.

I became a dot like you were a dot.

We were dots together.

And for the first time, there could be a connection between us. We both ceased to be dots, then. We became two parts of the same line, and I realized that was how I was always meant to be.

This was kind of requested by Sushi. I'm not sure if it's what you expected, Sushi, but it was fun to write

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I remember a time before all of this, before the fires came. My world was green and blue and yellow and pretty and boring. But then it came, they came, and showed me a world of orange and red and and black. My world was full of whistle and and singsong and soft winds and now it's bang and crash and boom and joy. The fires, they brought me real joy, told me what real happiness is. When the fires consumed me I felt warmth and heat and love, not cold and freezing and hate. They showed me true colors, showed me my true colors. And best of all, they showed me flames themselves.

Ever since then, I've had an obsession with the flames. Ever since they caressed me and I felt the strange warmth, I've had this abnormal infatuation with the flames. But is it abnormal? All our lives we've been told what's real and shown what's real and it's always been the same same same and then the fire shows up and isn't it only natural for me to be drawn to it? It's only natural for me to see the flames everywhere I go, see them burning everything, see them turn the greens into reds and the blues into orange and the yellow into that sweet, sweet black, and best of all: the dull into joy.

But nobody understands my joy. The water all says that I'm crazy, spreads lies like water always spreads. They plead with me to put out the fire, but why should I? The water is good for nothing, it's good for nothing but cold and drowning and death, when the fires bring me warmth and joy and life. All the water tries to do is put out the fire, but the fires know the truth. The fires know that the water is full of nothing but lies and poison.

And so eventually I found my way out of the sea of water and into the flames. The flames welcomed me with open arms, and I  embraced them in the same way. The fires and I joined together until we all became the same thing. I am the fire and the fire is me and I can feel it burning inside me and burning inside me and everything is just red and orange and black and beautiful. That beautiful black, the black that I see everywhere, on the tip of every flame, every object on fire, every single thing I see is just black black beautiful black. And before long, everything I see is some sort of black, and black is all I see. Black is all I see.

Black is all I see.

Another attempt at the thingy. These are fun, even if i do fail at random interpretive stuff~

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I can't remember anything, so I guess that means that I've been here for as long as I can remember. This house has no exits, but at the same time, plenty of windows. But the windows don't open, don't break, don't serve as any sort of exit. They're just... windows, windows that don't let you see anything out of them. There's no door, either. I've checked multiple times. Just me and this dark house.

I say dark because, well, it is dark. It's always been dark, and from what I can see, it always will be dark. There are lights all over the house, but none of them work. Well, almost all of them. The bathroom light works, but only in a dim flickering that barely lights up the toilet a foot away from it. The light in the fridge works, too, to illuminate the scarce supply of bread and butter and milk I have that never seems to end. But that's all the light this house has. And the strange thing is, those lights reach no further than what they're supposed to illuminate. The light in the bathrooms stops as soon as it gets to the doorway, and the light from the fridge stays in the fridge, as if the darkness swallows it up in its black jaws, yet can't get close enough to the source to eradicate it completely.

And there's the voices. I hear them every once in a while, in some parts of the the house more often than others. They whisper things to me like just give up or just die. But I know there's no one else here with me, I've looked. It's just me and the darkness and the voices. The voices of give up and die and you're nothing.

They're strongest by the steps to nowhere. Whenever I'm near there all I can here is die you're worthless no one likes you no one  cares about you why doesn't anyone miss you no one likes you you should just give up give up and go die everyone would like it better if you just died like there's nothing else in the world, and the whispers are screaming truth at me that I've always known, but never wanted to accept. I've learned to stay away from that area of the house, now.

And then, one day, as I woke up to the go die and the why did you even bother to wake up I noticed something strange about the house. I pushed myself off the carpet of what I assumed to be the living room and went to investigate the disturbance. That's when I noticed it: the door. It was hard to see through the shifting mass of darkness, but it was there. It had never been there before, but now it was; right next to the stairs. I hesitated to walk towards it. It offered a freedom from the dark, but I had to push through the truths to get to it. And what was waiting for me on the other side, anyways? The darkness is all I have ever known; I don't know anything about the outside world. But I decided that whatever was waiting for me out there had to be better that going crazy in the dark.

I took an unsteady forward, and another, and another. Before I knew it I was at the door, reaching out to the handle. But before my fingers were able to feel the cool relief of the bronze knob, I was on my knees gasping for breath on the cold tile floor. I tried to reach out for the door, for freedom, my body refused to move.

That's when I heard the laughter. Like a thousand little demons laughing at my misery, it flowed through me and filled every part of my being, mingling in with the already haunting sounds of you're weak and you should die. I couldn't do anything but tremble, tremble because I knew it all was true. I am weak, no one would care if I died, I had nothing but the darkness. They were right to laugh at me; why should I even try to escape?

Then another voice cut through the insanity in my head. It was still dark, as sinister as the other voices, if not more so, but I could hear it clearly in front of the rest of the voices. Why leave? it asked me. What do you have out there? Here we take care of you, we keep you fed, and we keep you from danger. Do you think the outside world offers any of that? Outside it's cold, and it's ruthless. Here there's nothing to hurt you, there's only the truth.

I tried to open my mouth to protest, but my body was still not responding, as if I was no longer in control of my actions. Suddenly it felt like something was clenching on my neck, trying to choke me, and the voice was screaming at me. You can't leave! You're worthless! Your only hope is to stay in the darkness! Why would you leave us?!

"Please," I managed to whimper, desperately searching for breath in my tense throat. I pushed my body with all my might, struggling to move my hand. Inch by inch it began to move, and I reached out towards the knob, still hearing the scream of Why do you still try to get away?! in the very core of me.

At last, my hand grasped the door knob. I turned it weakly and the door slid open, revealing things I had never seen before. It was dark, but it was not the dark I was used to. It was a quiet darkness, a sort of natural midnight blue. And there were lights. Oh, my goodness, the lights!  They were bright, brighter than anything I'd ever seen before. And they actually shone out into the night! The darkness had no grasp on them, instead the light triumphed over the dark. Everything looked so happy, it looked so hopeful. I felt myself begin to cry.

That's when I noticed that all of the voices were quiet. Everything was quiet. I could even hear the wind whistling through the trees. And best of all was that I could move my body again. I could walk towards it, I could be a part of it. And I would. I got off the floor and stepped outside of the house. The fresh air smelled so good. Like a part of that I had been missing for all my life.

But I stopped. I was fading into darkness.

My whole body faded away into the darkness.

Why would you leave us we protect you you're worthless just die no one cares for you the outside world is harsh you don't want it it's cold  darkness is safety we protect you we keep you from pain we give you everything you need how could you leave us you're worthless just sleep and never wake up sleep in the darkness no one wants you.

.__.

so this was very interesting to write... it's actually based off of some dreams. The thing with no lights working is a recurring dream that I've had semi-recently, and the climax was based off of a recurring dream I used to have. The very end was loosely based off of a dream I had once that scared me half to death O.O So... yeah.

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You don't know fear.

You say you know fear, you say that 'you're afraid,' but you have no idea what true fear is. I've been in situations that make your worst nightmares seem like nothing. I've seen things you wouldn't believe, but they're real. I can attest to that. You say you're scared of the dark? Well, don't be. You've no right to say that. I have every right to be scared of the dark, though.

I've seen things, down there in the dark. Horrible, nightmarish creatures. They whisper things to you, unimaginable things, things that I couldn't be made to repeat for all the money in the world. When you're down there, compressed by the dark on every side so much that soon enough you can feel your own soul being eaten up; when talking's all you can do to stay sane, and your sanity is the only thing you have left to hold onto, and you have to hold on to something to stay alive, and hope has long evaded your grasp - that's when you know fear. That shows you true fear. Unimaginable fear that you could not even comprehend if I were to try to explain it to you.

So you say you're afraid?

Then you're a liar.

You don't know fear.

So yeah, I had inspiration for this awhile ago, then I never did anything with it, then I got it again after hearing about the people stuck in a mine for 60 days or something like that. dark stuff again, yay...~ -scampers off to write happy stuff-

It was going to have more to do with the title, but it just kind of...went in a different direction. It was kind of mentioned, but it wasn't really a big theme.

((Not enough space anymore. Now you'll just have to search for new ones ))

[Ronnie]

Wow, I wouldn't be able to write it down like that, unless I say it and record it first, then type it down.
These could be made into awesome lyrics pretty easily o:
as Songs of Undercoscience.
wow.

[Vasha]

haha, thanks i was tossing around the idea of making the first one a poem, but that would have probably have gotten rid of a lot of the feeling in it

[Merlandese]

Oh man, you did so well. It's hard to write in that style, but I'm pretty confident that you nailed it. With a hammer. Like Captain Hammer. I'm actually reminded of the book Bright Shiny Morning by James Frey, if you've ever heard of it.

[Doragon]

O: Chibi has a word vomit! A very BAM IN YO FACE word vomit. <o<;;

... seriously, that first one made my head start hurting. Can't tell you whether or not that's a good thing, tho...

[Sushi]

... as I sat here reading this my smile just sort of slowly grew and grew the entire time. |D

Yeah. xD You know I love stuff like this~:D
Translation: FFFFFFFFF IT'S SO MUCH NONSENSE I LOVE IT SO MUCH

...yyyyessss. >.> I've come to realize that nonsense is an integral part of my life(as a child: The Phantom Tollbooth, Alice in Wonderland, The Wizard of Oz... Now: Satoshi Kon, Shel Silverstein, Un Lun Dun, Fall Out Boy... yeah, I'm always gonna love nonsense).

I love the style of both of these. :D Reminds me of my Shattershot and Flatline, except less designed to make sense. xD

I want to go write something like this now. >o>

-scurries off-

[Vasha]

Dora: WORD VOMITS O: but yeah, that was based off of what it actually felt like during the day i wrote than in fifth period when my brain vomited not me physically, just my brain

Sushi: yes, i know you love those and you would not believe how FUN these are to write -skips off to type one based off his teacher almost suffocating today-

[Vasha]

Douple post of new thingyness!

[Merlandese]

I feel bad for liking it. Your poor, probably dead teacher...

[Vasha]

she's not dead, somebody gave her an epi pen thingy and she went home early. she was going to go to the hospital, but she didn't have to apparently, so that's good

[Vasha]

double post again~!

nother one posted, this time not stream-of-conscious-y, but i don't know how to change the name of the board

[Merlandese]

For some reason, images of unfertilized eggs (circle) and sperm (dot) came to mind for most of it.   
And then I realized you were really talking about circles, which reminded me of this:

The Dot and the Line: A Romance in Lower Mathematics

[Vasha]

or WAS i?

[Sushi]

Was not what I was expecting. >o> But is still good~:D

NOW WRITE SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. |D

[Serenity.neko]

-now has a sudden desire to write something stream-of-consciousness!- OoO -waltzes off to Word-

Very good, BTW, Vasha~